The Green Knight and the Bounty Hunter

The party ties up some loose ends in Moonstone, then travels to the magical city of Ezry in hopes of identifying their cursed sword. Beverly earns the nickname "Bubble Boy," Hardwon tastes his first cheeseburger slider, and Moonshine uses her crick charm to enlist the help of a bounty hunter. Adam Conover (Adam Ruins Everything) joins us for three episodes, starting here! (There won't be shout outs at the end of the show this week because we're traveling and scheduled the show ahead of time. Shout outs will resume by Ep. 11 and we'll include the ones we missed the past couple weeks!)

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General Notes for readability: 

1. When Player Character’s words are in quotation marks they are speaking as their own character, unless otherwise specified in brackets.

2. When the Dungeon Master is speaking as a character, brackets will often but not always be added to increase clarity as to which character he’s speaking about or to. 

3. If a number is referred to in the context of D&D they will always be written numerically (ex: I rolled a 2).  If a number is referred to in general context, it will be written in text (ex: “Three heads is enough, Hardwon”)

4. Vocal tics are left in when they appear to be a character choice and are taken out when this does not appear to be the case.

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DM Murph: [Intro] Welcome to the campaign after the campaign. This is not another D&D podcast.

DM Murph: [Play Begins] Welcome back to Bahumia, everyone.

Hardwon: [Singing] Bahumia.

Moonshine [Singing] Bahumia.

DM Murph: I'm your dungeon master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz.

Hardwon: Hardwon Surefoot.

DM Murph: Emily Axford.

Moonshine: Moonshine Cybin, keepin’ it crick-y.

DM Murph: And Caldwell Tanner.

Beverly: Beverly Toegold, the best boy of Bahumia.

DM Murph: The best boy, yes. And guys, we’re going to be joined by Adam Conover for the last two thirds of the show. But first, we're going to wrap things up here in Moonstone, so let's do a recap. So last week you guys fought the barbarians on top of the roof of the Hungry Trout Inn and Tavern and defeated them in the rain.

Hardwon: That's one for the singers.

Moonshine: Yeah!

DM Murph: It was epic. Paw Paw had his big moment, Moonshine-

Moonshine: Aww, Paw Paw was such a good boy.

DM Murph: [babytalk] He was such a good boy. He scampered off. Moonshine told him to go get help. He ran off. He found a druid to help you guys. With his help and with the help of the Bard and Mishka, you guys were able to defeat the barbarians.

Beverly: Not just any druid, by the way.

DM Murph: Yes, His name was Pietr, and he is a centaur.

Moonshine: Pe- Pee-et-err.

Hardwon: Patter?

DM Murph: Pietr. Pietr.

Hardwon: Petri.

Moonshine: But also, we're forgetting a very important moment from that fight, which is Hardwon going toe to toe with Garesh in defense of the "Watch this!" catchphrase, and defending it and claiming it for his own.

Beverly: Brothers of the calf, battling it out.

DM Murph: A battle of egos, for sure. So yeah, you guys defeated the barbarians. You retrieved the staff, Moonshine returned it to the bay, and all was right.

Hardwon: All was okay in the bay.

DM Murph: All was okay in the bay.

Moonshine: Ooooh!

DM Murph: But all was not on par at the bar? Does that-

Hardwon: That checks out.

DM Murph: That...that's okay.

Moonshine: That checks out. As long as it rhymes, it checks out.

DM Murph: Yeah, when you guys,...you guys went into the bar, and you saw that Mishka had been killed. You guys found her amongst a bunch of dead barbarians, so she clearly went down fighting. Beverly was torn up by her death and had his first beer as you guys all shared a solemn drink in this insane murder scene. So that is where you guys find yourself now. You guys are inside the Hungry Trout Inn and Tavern. It is the same night. You guys are just sitting at the bar having a drink while a bunch of druids cast mending spells and clean up the murder scene.

Moonshine: “I am buzzed and I'm ready to booty show up at Shae’s door.”

Hardwon: “Yeah. Yeah.”

Beverly: Yeah. I do not sleep well.

Moonshine: “I'm buzzed. I don't know how we sleep after we see what happened to Mishka.”

Beverly: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “I say we go talk to Shay.”

Hardwon: “Beverly's drunk right now. Let’s-”

Moonshine: “I have no spells left to impress her. This is a stupid idea. It's self destructive.”

Hardwon: “But that's the kind of-”

Moonshine: “I'm just, I'm spiraling, y'all.”

Hardwon: “That’s the kind of behavior that she sparks. She wakes up the worst in us because she's so hot.”

DM Murph: So, are you guys going to bed, or are you going to Shae’s right now?

Beverly: [slurring] “This may be the alcohol talking, but I think we should go talk to that beautiful lady in the grass house.”

Moonshine: “Okay, y’all, I think we're going to see Shae.”

Hardwon: “I'm gonna finish my second beer and, yeah, let's go.”

DM Murph: Oh boy.

Moonshine: Can I do a search for any kind of wagon or anything that I could bring the keg with us to Shay's?

DM Murph: Oh, my God. Just to let you know, this is probably going to turn people off to you a lot, because there are druids in there right now that are, like, cleaning up. Pietr's kind of trying to be polite and explain, [as Pietr] “They just saw their friends die. They fought really hard. They're actually really good people.”

Moonshine: Okay, we can spin this, though. We can spin this. I'mma say to Pietr, "I know. I know that we are touched by the fermented barley right now, but, uh...we need to seek some wisdom. Do you mind if while y'all clean, we show up at a super hot druid woman's house and-”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “You m...you might not want to call her a super hot druid woman. And also, you probably shouldn't bring a keg, but if you wanted to go, I'm sure she would be happy to see you.”

Moonshine: “You know what? Why don't you take this little red wagon of ale-”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “Okay...”

Moonshine: “-and take it out to the people around town. I think everyone could use a drink.”

Beverly: “I say we should all take a walk me down, which is where you just pour one to go.”

Hardwon: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, we're just going to take a walk me down.”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “I'm going to bury our dead.”

Hardwon: “You know what? You take the walk me down.”

Beverly: I puke on his hooves.

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “Please go.”

Hardwon: “Beverly doesn't need any more. You don't need any more to drink.”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “Please, please go.”

Hardwon: “We're gonna go see Shae.”

Beverly: “I want a walk me down!”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “Please go.”

Hardwon: “And a walk me down for you.”

DM Murph: [as Pietr] “Please go.”

Beverly: “Okay.” We go.

Moonshine: I take out one of those...I take out one of those Mardi Gras yard cups, no, I'm kidding.

DM Murph: You guys walk off to the temple to Melora, and you see Shay is out there with some of the druids and stuff. And you see she's comforting the Green Teens, who are probably concerned for you guys. And as you guys approach, you see Erlin shoots up and sees Beverly and goes, [as Erlin] “Beverly!” And he runs over and he hugs Beverly.

Beverly: “Erlin!” I hug him right back.

DM Murph: [as Erlin] “Are you okay, man?”

Beverly: “I could have saved her. Erlin, I could've saved her.”

DM Murph: [as Erlin] “You could have saved who, man?”

Beverly: “Mishka! She was, she was this super cool dragon-fighting half-orc, and I let her die!”

Hardwon: “Erlin, He's pretty distraught, and also, he drank a little too much Sprite, so just maybe leave him alone for a second.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, he's real carbonated.”

[Beverly crying]

Hardwon: “He's gassy, man.”

Moonshine: “He's fizzy.”

DM Murph: [as Erlin] “Alright, man.” You see Erlin backs up, and Shae walks up to you guys and she says, [as Shae] “I heard about Mishka and the others, but-”

Moonshine: “Yeah, Shae, I got to say, on any other day, I probably would hit on you, but times-”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “I would ask that you didn't.”

Moonshine: “-times are grave. I'm not even gonna try. I’m not even gonna try. I came here with no spells. I'm... I'm… I'm naked. I'm spell naked.”

Hardwon: “We're just three champion warriors at your door asking you to love them.”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “I feel like you- you're hitting on me. You, you, Moonshine, you said you weren't gonna hit on me, but Hardwon, I feel like-”

Hardwon: “No chance.”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “Did you bring one for the road? Do you have one for the road?”

Hardwon: “No, I didn't, that was...”

Beverly: “It's called a walk me down.”

Moonshine: “Yes, we've brought walk me downs, but-”

Hardwon: “Really, the alcohol has so little effect on me. Most of it ends up in the beard.”

DM Murph: You see from inside the temple, Matteo and Scoutmaster Denny walk out.

Beverly: [anguished] “Dennyyyy!”

DM Murph: And Scoutmaster Denny goes, [as Denny] “Well, hey, campers of the light! I saw you... noticed you didn't quite run after that bear when he had me, huh?”

Hardwon: “I want to kill him. I want to kill him.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Nope, it's okay! Hey, we're good. Thank you.”

Hardwon: I'm reaching for my axes.

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Nope, we're good, hey, are you going-”

Moonshine: I go to Shae and I say-

DM Murph: [as Denny] “I'm going to go back in the temple!”

Moonshine: Actually-

Hardwon: “Go back in the temple.”

Moonshine: I fall to my knees and I say, “Melora, why do you take Mishka, but you spare Denny? Why, Melora, why?”

DM Murph: You hear from inside the temple, [as Denny] “I can hear you!”

Hardwon: [to Denny] “Good! [to Shae] Uh, Shae, we have a whole bunch of weird magic shit. And also we need to rest. Can we please come in to the...?”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “Yes, you're free to rest in the temple, and also, I'd be happy to talk to you about anything. First off, thank you for defending our town.”

Hardwon: “It’s the least we can do.”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “We- it would have been lost without you.”

Moonshine: “Melora, I know I said I wasn't gonna hit on you, and I'm not. But I am just going to say that-”

Hardwon: “You don't have to say anything, just-”

Moonshine: “I'm just going to say that I wielded a trident. You should have seen me.”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “If you weren't so drunk and stumbling over your words, I may have been very impressed. But thank you for...thank you for throwing it back in the bay. A lesser druid might have taken it for their own.”

Moonshine: “Why did-”

Beverly: “Your hair smells real nice.”

DM Murph: [as Shae] “Okay.”

Hardwon: “I'm so sorry.”

DM Murph: You see she turns to Hardwon, [as Shae] “You hit on me. But maybe the less- least offensively so far. You mentioned something about some magic items, what...?”

Hardwon: “Yeah, so we have, we've got this... this evil-seeming sword.”

DM Murph: Okay.

Hardwon: “Can you tell us what this is?”

DM Murph: She looks at it. You've got it, like, wrapped up in some clothes. We said some Wrangler jeans. She-

Hardwon: “These are the Brett Favre deep crotch jeans.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Oh, my.”

Moonshine: “Deep crotch, high heine.”

DM Murph: She unravels it, and she looks at it, and she says, [as Shay] “Well, I'm... I'm not a cleric or a wizard. It would be difficult for me to identify this item, but I can sense a great evil from it, and I'm very glad that you are all smart enough not to wield it, because it very easily could have driven you mad.”

Beverly: I look at it.

Hardwon: I'm gonna hang onto it.

Beverly: While it's partially unsheathed, I kind of look at it.

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Don't let him anywhere near this while he's drunk. And also, thank you for saving the other Green Teens, but please don't let this one drink in the future. He's... he's a boy.”

Hardwon: “Yeah. No, it was a...you really had to be there.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Although I suppose he's decapitating people and such. You know what? It's fine.”

Beverly: “My scoutmaster said it was fine.”

Moonshine: “He also collects teeth.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Okay.”

Moonshine: “Shay-”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “You need to get this sword to a wizard or to a cleric. We can't really help you with that here in Moonstone.”

Moonshine: “Okay. We will do tha...well, where would they be? There's no wizards or clerics here in Moonstone?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “There are some Clerics, and-”

Moonshine: “Honestly, we don't got wizards down by the crick.”

Hardwon: “What do you have down by the crick?”

Moonshine: “Uh, welp-”

Beverly: [imitating Moonshine] “Mud mages.”

Moonshine: “We got, well, Mud Golems. We got Mud Golems. They run around. We make em, and then they be- then they start makin’ their own rules and following their own...I'm so sorry, Shay, I'm wastin’ your time. I’m so sorry.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Yes, you absolutely are.”

Moonshine: “The mouth of a crick, you know?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “So, on the way up north to Galaderon, there is a small city called Ezry, and they do a lot of arcane research there, and they're scientists, so they could probably-”

Beverly: “Ah, yeah, my family has a summer house there.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “-They could identify that item.”

Hardwon: “Don't flaunt your wealth so much, Bev.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “That item. Was there anything else?”

Hardwon: “We have this...we've got what seems to be a dragon egg.”

DM Murph: You hold that up and you see her eyes go wide, and she says, [as Shay] "Where did you get that?"

Moonshine: “We went to the sunken keep, uh, I think it was the house of some madman.”

Beverly: “We solved a puzzle!”

Hardwon: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “So, I believe... I believe-”

Hardwon: “Indoor voice, Bev.”

Moonshine: “It was the house of a...some wealthy noble, gone mad with power.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Right.”

Moonshine: “And this dragon egg was sort of shoved into something that seemed like it was- used to hold something else fancy.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “So this is the spawn of Shadowfang.”

Moonshine: “I believe so.”

Beverly: “Yeah, it’s their daughter.”

Moonshine: “Do you think we should just crack it and I mean, I don't mean, I don't want to say the a word, but... [whispered] Abort it?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Well, no, I don't want to seem greedy here, but...this town was, in a strange way, protected when Shadowfang was here.”

Moonshine: “Oh!”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “We were safe from outside invaders, and Shadowfang was evil, and ruled with an iron fist, but if a team of druids could all work together, perhaps we would be able to tame this beast.”

Moonshine: “If you raised a nice baby dragon.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “That's right. Now, chromatic dragons are, are usually born cruel, selfish, and distrustful. That is their nature. But perhaps, under just the right circumstances, they could be nurtured.”

Moonshine: “Nature versus nurture.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “To use those instincts for good.”

Moonshine: “I love that, Shay. I really do.”

Hardwon: “We're all super impressed by you, Shay.”

Beverly: “We think you're great.”

Moonshine: “Yeah. Real quick, just one downward dog, just so we can check.”

Hardwon: “If you could...tell you what-”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “If I do it downward dog right now, will you give me that dragon egg?”

Hardwon: “If you would just let us rest here and lead us in a morning yoga, we will, we'll happily leave the dragon egg behind.”

Beverly: “Hot pilates, please.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, some, yeah.”

Hardwon: “Can we do hot- yeah, we'd like a...a night's rest, and then a hot pilates in the morning.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Okay, how about just regular-”

Beverly: “Hot breakfast, hotter pilates.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “How about hot breakfast, regular pilates?”

Moonshine: “I could be persuaded.”

Beverly: “What's in it for us if we give you the egg?”

Moonshine: “Exactly what she just said.”

Hardwon: “The pilates.”

Moonshine: “The hot pilates.”

Beverly: “Okay, that doesn't seem quite equivalent to, you know...”

Moonshine: “Yeah, but we're, you know...Moonstone, I'm on the side of Moonstone.”

Beverly: “Can we come visit the dragon baby?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “You can absolutely come visit the dragon baby.”

Moonshine: “Can we name it?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “But I would also say, Young Beverly, you are a Green Knight and a servant of Pelor. You shouldn't have to get anything in order to give something.”

Hardwon: “He’s very drunk-”

Beverly: “You're right.”

Hardwon: “He is wasted.”

Beverly: “No, no, no, she's right. I've acted against Pelor in this moment, and I'm...It's almost time for me to take my Oath of the Ancients. I should be thinking better. I should be acting better. Please, punish me as you will.” And I prostrate myself.

Moonshine: “Oh, young Bev...”

DM Murph: She just... she just picks you up under-

Moonshine: “I swear, Shay, we never do anything. We don't spank him or anything like that. I don't know where this is coming from.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “I don't believe you, but that's okay.” She throws Beverly over her shoulder and says, “Come into the temple, get a good night's rest, and we'll talk again in the morning.”

Beverly: I try to puke, but there's nothing left.

Hardwon: Retch.

DM Murph: Beverly retches. You guys all go to bed, and you wake up, and there's a warm breakfast for you, and Shay leads you guys in some morning yoga.

Moonshine: Cool beans.

Hardwon: Cool.

DM Murph: It is literally mourning yoga, [spelling] m-o-u-r-n.

Moonshine: So we're all weeping and hung over as we do it.

DM Murph: Yeah, we're all weeping. You guys are doing this in the back of the temple. This is where some of the people are being buried.

Moonshine: “Mishkaaaa!”

Beverly: We're wearing black yoga pants.

Moonshine: I would like to create a mushroom garden in Moonstone, like, in the town square, in honor of those that fell. So it's like a beautiful mushroom garden, like, all types of mushrooms.

DM Murph: Beautiful. Go ahead and roll me just a raw wisdom, or a religion check, whatever you want.

Moonshine: I got a 7.

Hardwon: The mushroom garden is fine.

DM Murph: The mushroom garden pops up, and there are just a couple of bulbous, very gross, very poisonous mushrooms representing the person-

Hardwon: The might take those- they might weed those out too early.

Moonshine: Okay, I hammer in a little sign, so it's very clear. I say, ‘Memorial Mushroom Garden. Do Not Eat.’

DM Murph: Do not eat.

Beverly: Yeah, you try to write rest in peace, but you misspell it and it says ‘peas.’

DM Murph: So yep. So they do a little ceremony for all of the dead. You find out that Mishka had requested a Viking funeral. So she goes out onto the bay in a little boat pyre. Shae says a few words about Mishka. She refers to Mishka as the town's last homegrown hero.

Beverly: Uh, I do want to, in the light of the morning, I want to go back, and maybe...is it cool if I take Rusty's violin?

DM Murph: Sure you can- you want to take Ol’ Betsy?

Moonshine: Ol’ Bev, Ol’ Betsy.

DM Murph: I think he probably would have been buried with Ol’ Betsy, but would you like to steal them from his cold, dead hands?

Beverly: No, no, no, no, no, no.

Moonshine: Oh, you should let him do that.

Hardwon: Don't rob him, don't rob, yeah.

Beverly: No, not going to rob Rusty. Rusty can be buried with old Betsy. That's...yeah, that's better. Okay, I am going to take a gold tooth from-

Hardwon: From Rusty?

DM Murph: From Garesh?

Hardwon: Not going to take Betsy, but you want one of his teeth.

Beverly: I accide- I absolutely take a gold tooth from Garesh.

DM Murph: Dope, you get a gold tooth from Garesh. So, yes. So you guys send Mishka off. You guys bury the Bard, they say a few words about the Bard. Then, after she's talking about the Bard, you see Shay turns and all the druids turn, and in a patch of grass behind the temple, there is a single flower growing, and she says, [as Shay] “And let us not forget Mother Thistle. Thistle actually died several weeks ago,” and you hear a few of the fishermen kind of gasp, but the Druids kind of knew what was up. And she says, [as Shay] “The Druids kept it a secret because we didn't want to show any more weakness while the barbarians were here. And to be honest, I didn't know if you all could handle it. But I think what we've learned here is that we can endure anything. Rest well, Mother Thistle.” And it's quiet, and suddenly you hear Scoutmaster Denny pipe up, [as Denny] "Well, well, uh, if we're honoring people, then I’d just like to say a few words!"

Hardwon: “I, really, is this the-”

Beverly: I try to tug on his, on his khakis.

Moonshine: I sit back.

Hardwon: “You're not well liked in Moonstone.”

DM Murph: Shay just says, [as Shay] “It's fine. Just let him do it.” And Scoutmaster Denny stands in the front, [as Denny] “All right, let's hear it for Mother Thistle, eh, gang? Clap it up.”

Beverly: “Yeah, Hip, hip, hurray…”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Alright!”

Hardwon: Hardwon doesn't clap.

DM Murph: Nobody claps, it's just-

Beverly: I begrudgingly clap.

DM Murph: There's some polite clapping.

Beverly: I have a very forced smile on.

Hardwon: Smattering of applause.

DM Murph: [as Denny] “I'd like to say a few words about the Green Knights. Now, the Green Knights are different than regular Paladins. We, like our brothers and sisters in the light, fight for our God, yes! But we also fight for the Earth and all its campers.”

Beverly: “Yeah.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “That is why the animal relations badge is so important, so that we can communicate with animals and see how best we can help our furry pals. Beverly.”

Beverly: “Yes?!”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “You've already saved your fellow Green Teens and gotten me out of a lot of legal trouble, so I'm willing to overlook the fact that you've never earned your cooking badge. You just need to prove that you can commune with animals, and I'll induct you into the Green Knights, right here, right now. Are you up to the challenge, Beverly?”

Beverly: “Oh, my gosh, you-”

Moonshine: “I'm sorry. This is, like, borderline insensitive. This is a memorial, and Denny just kind of hijacked this...”

Hardwon: “Yeah, you just, you hijacked a funeral, man.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Break out the ceremonial gong!”

Hardwon: “You turned a eulogy into a contest!”

DM Murph: He pulls out the gong and he bangs it.

Hardwon: “No!”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “The jamboreen is back on, everyone! Callooh Callay!”

Beverly: “Callooh Callay! Callooh Callay!”

DM Murph: All the green teens yell, "Callooh Callay!"

Moonshine: “All right, I can get into a Callooh Callay. Callooh Callay, y'all!”

Beverly: “Where death is laid foul, so too may flowers grow. That is why we celebrate in these mournful days.”

Moonshine: “That's true, that's true, circle of life.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Yep.”

Hardwon: “I just don't like that Denny leads anything.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, me too.”

Beverly: Did we...we rested, right?

DM Murph: Oh, yeah.

Beverly: So I got my spell slots back?

DM Murph: Uh-huh.

Beverly: I'm going to, yeah, I'm gonna use talk to animals.

DM Murph: Cool, there's a few deer around, some birds, and there's also-

Moonshine: Yo, do it with Bojangles.

Hardwon: Bojangles.

DM Murph: There's also...there's also Paw Paw.

Beverly: Oh, shit. Yeah, it's gotta be Paw Paw. I cast speak with animals, and I turn to Paw Paw, and I say, “Hi!”

Moonshine: I think he's talking to me. "Hey?"

Beverly: “Paw Paw, its me, Beverly. How's it going?”

DM Murph: So Beverly kind of takes center stage, looks right at Paw Paw. His eyes glow green, and Paw Paw, not used to this, not used to being able to understand what people are saying, Paw Paw turns his head at you and goes, [as Paw Paw, in southern accent] "I'm doin’ pretty good down out here. H-H-How you doing?"

Moonshine: Ohhh my godddd.

Beverly: “Wow. Uh, you, you're very energetic.”

DM Murph: [as Paw Paw, energetically] “Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!”

Beverly: “Thank you, I just wanted to say thank you for all your help, for finding Peitr, and for just assisting us in all the ways. You're-”

DM Murph: [as Paw Paw] “Ah, horseman! I like the horseman! Haaa! Haha! Ha!”

Beverly: “Yeah, gosh, you're just like five Jonahs, huh?”

DM Murph: So you see, Scoutmaster Danny says, [as Denny] "Well, I wasn't in on that conversation, but it sounds right to me! Congratulations, Beverly!" Everyone cheers. Scoutmaster Denny starts bowing.

Hardwon: Hardwon will clap for that, "You don't bow, you don't bow."

DM Murph: [as Denny] "Alright!"

Moonshine: I'll play the- I take out New Betsy, and I start playing a fiddle in honor.

DM Murph: You start playing a fiddle song.

Moonshine: [vocalizing fiddle]

DM Murph: The jamboreen starts. They hit the ceremonial gong.

Hardwon: “Oh, shit, the jamboreen!”

DM Murph: The jamboreen’s on, they start cooking The Feast of Pelor, everyone starts to get-

Hardwon: I wanna twirl in a circle with Erlin.

DM Murph: Yeah, there's-

Hardwon: Tossin’ him up and catching him.

Beverly: I do want to help with the feast to prove that even though I didn't get my cooking badge, I'm up to the challenge.

Moonshine: “Oh, come back into the kitchen with me!”

Beverly: Yeah, we're back in the kitchen.

Moonshine: “I got every burner goin’!”

DM Murph: Moonshine and Beverly go back, they make a jambalaya for everyone.

Moonshine: “We got jambalaya, we got gumbo, we got paella, we got chowder.”

DM Murph: Everyone is in the freshly cleaned Hungry Trout Inn, celebrating. Everybody's drinking. Everybody's having fun. It's the Feast of Pelor.

Hardwon: Hardwon is river dancing.

Moonshine: Oh yeah.

DM Murph: Hardwon is having a fantastic time river dancing.

Moonshine: Moonshine is talking- Shay’s in the kitchen and Moonshine’s, like, feeding her little, little spoons, being, like, “How’s that taste? Is that good, it spiced nice?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “That's actually, for being bullywug legs, it’s actually pretty good.”

Moonshine: “That's good, right?”

DM Murph: You see, after the feast, Denny wheels out green scale mail. [as Denny] "And for our new junior Green Knights, I would like to award Beverly Toegold with getting to see his scoutmaster wear a brand new set of armor!" And he goes and he starts putting it on.

Hardwon: I hip check Denny.

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Just kidding, y'all, just kidding! I'm just kidding! It all was a joke, okay, alright.”

Hardwon: “I'll present the kid with the armor right now. Alright, no, you're a f- you’re a craven piece of shit.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Okay!”

Hardwon: “Beverly, as your co-scoutmaster- Moonshine, want to come out here?”

Moonshine: “Okay. Oh, yeah. Ope-” I'm wiping my saucy hands off my apron.

Hardwon: “Let's present the kid with his brand new-”

Beverly: “Oh, oh my gosh.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “You have to say the Green Knight’s plight!”

Moonshine: “Okay!”

Hardwon: Great, I'm going to rip the scroll from his hand.

DM Murph: All right, so he gives you guys pieces of paper. Here you guys go. This is the Green Knight’s plight. If you guys could all read it in unison to induct Beverly into the Green Knights.

Hardwon: “One, two, three.”

Hardwon, Moonshine, Beverly: “The Green Knights fight with all their might, and through no slight, we make things right. But should the night’s blight dim our sight, we'll smite that fright with a light so bright.”

Beverly: “Callooh Callay! Callooh Callay!”

Moonshine: “Callooh Callay, y’all, Callooh Callay!”

DM Murph: Everyone cheers, you now have scale mail, your AC goes up by one.

Beverly: Oh, shit!

Moonshine: Oh, shit, your AC's 19?

Beverly: It 19, boi!

DM Murph: Oh, baby, it's beautiful.

Hardwon: That's badass.

Beverly: I think, in a private moment, I do pick up the Amulet of Pelor, and I make a solemn promise to Pelor in this moment as well.

DM Murph: Beautiful. You feel Pelor’s light shine on you in the sun, the sun hits you just right.

Moonshine: I'm just going around- I'm just going around making sure everyone got fed. I'm going around to any skinny people being like, "You should eat a little more, take a little more."

Hardwon: "I'll take seconds."

Beverly: I'm eating a lot, ‘cause I'm definitely still hung over.

DM Murph: The feast wraps up. It becomes night. They make a big bonfire, and everyone’s sitting around the bonfire. Denny's trying to tell stories, but Shay kind of shuts him up and pushes him to the side.

Moonshine: I pen a quick- well, no, I don't pen it, I dictate a quick note, Paw Paw pens it, to Denny, kindly requesting that he retire from any job that involves him influencing children.

Hardwon: I'll sign it. “Co-signed by Hardwon.”

DM Murph: You guys sign it. You guys pass it around. All of the fishermen sign it and everything. And Denny looks at it and he goes, [as Denny] “Yep, well, pretty much unanimous, huh? Maybe I'll just stick around here and be a tour guide.”

Moonshine: “Yes, that will be, well...”

Hardwon: “You really should...as long as all of the people you give tours to aren't teens.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “How about there needs to be another adult present?”

Hardwon: “Let’s do that.”

Moonshine: “yeah, that's perf-I like that, I like that.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Wow, That sounds bad, huh.”

Hardwon: “Yeah, your- I mean, your tour sounds destined to fail, but I’m fine with that.”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Okay. Oh, boy.”

Beverly: “Scoutmaster Denny, before you are banned from the Green Teens forever, I need to know, what should my next move be? What do I need to do to become a full-fledged Green Knight?”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Beverly, I gotta be honest, kid. You're better at this than I am. I don't know.”

Beverly: “So you saying I should follow my own heart?”

DM Murph: [as Denny] “Oh, actually, I was supposed to give this to you. It's a note from your dad. I was supposed to give it to you when you graduated.”

Beverly: "Oh, shoot. Oh my gosh. Ahh, this is his sigil for sure." I carefully unpeel the wax sigil, preserving it so that I can, you know, add it to my collection, and I read it out loud.

Hardwon: You open it up with a tooth.

Beverly: “Beverly, Congratulations. You've done an adequate job. Okay. Now hurry home to Galederon. The King is naming a new High Septon in two weeks. Your mother would be disappointed if you weren't there. Ha. That sounds like mother. Regards, Father. Oh, jeez. I got to get back to Galaderon.”

Moonshine: “You got some cold upbringing.”

Beverly: “No, this is pretty, this is pretty warm.”

Hardwon: “At least your parents were alive. That's cool.”

Beverly: “Yeah, that's, you know...”

Moonshine: “That's true, you know what, count your blessings.”

Beverly: “yeah, on a- on a um-, I guess on a spectrum, that's pretty good.”

Hardwon: “Let's get this tiny knight to Galaderon.”

Moonshine: “Yeah.”

Hardwon: “And we pass through Ezry on the way.”

Moonshine: “Ah, okay.”

Hardwon: “And ask about that sword.”

Beverly: “Okay, cool.”

Moonshine: “Yes, we'll spend the night in Ezry.”

Beverly: “Would you guys, as my Scoutmasters, accompany me back home?”

Moonshine: “Yes. I feel very invested in getting you and these other little liabilities home.”

Hardwon: “As strange as you are, you are my only two friends. I have nowhere else to go.”

Moonshine: “Wait, you don't have friends back at the mountain?”

Hardwon: “I have-”

Moonshine: “Did something happen at the mountain? What are you runnin’ from?”

Hardwon: “I just- I really outgrew the mountain. I have an ex, but it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing.”

Moonshine: “So you left because of a girl?”

Hardwon: “It's not...yeah, I had a tough break up.”

Beverly: “I guess that's the thing, that is-”

Hardwon: “I had a really bad break up.”

Moonshine: “Wow. Usually adventurers have a way bigger, way more exciting backstory, but...just left because of a girl.”

Hardwon: “She crushed me.”

DM Murph: So Shay, Shay approaches you guys as you guys are talking, and she says, [as Shay] “Would you guys like to be here when we hatch the egg? Assuming you're okay with Moonstone keeping the egg.”

Hardwon: “You guys can definitely keep the egg.”

Moonshine: “Oh, I can't not-”

Beverly: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, you guys can- as long as we can come back and sort of be like, fun aunts and uncles that show up every once in a while and bring it toys.”

Beverly: “And we do get to name it.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “You do get to name it.”

Beverly: “Yes!”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “I was going to suggest that.”

Moonshine: “I think we should name it Paw Paw.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Um, Moonshine, I was actually hoping that you would be able to help us.”

Moonshine: “Yeah!”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Because we're going to have to wrangle this thing. It's going to be nuts.”

Moonshine: “Oh, I know something about wrangling.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “This is going to be crazy, yeah, we will all need to wrangle.”

Moonshine: “If you need some help wranglin', you came to the right chick.”

DM Murph: Great, so Moonshine and the other druids, you guys see Peitr and Matteo.

Moonshine: “Petri!”

Hardwon: “Matteo.”

DM Murph: Matteo stands there.

Hardwon: “Petri and Matt.”

DM Murph: You see Shay-

Moonshine: “Petri and Matt!”

DM Murph: Shay kind of moves Matteo to be like, more towards the back. He might not be as good of a druid as he was being. [as Matteo] “I love- I just want to help this dragon.” [as Shay] “So please stand back. Please stand back. Let Peitr in.”

Moonshine: “I knew he was bad stock.”

Hardwon: “His pets just don't listen, you see that?”

DM Murph: Yeah, she makes room so that Matteo can stand back and Moonshine can kind of fill in, in his place, and all of the druids stand around this fire. [as Shay] “Hardwon, would you like to place the egg into the fire?”

Hardwon: “Sure.” I toss my beard over my shoulder so it doesn't catch.

Beverly: Good.

Hardwon: I'm gonna walk to the fire, place the egg gingerly on top.

DM Murph: Place the egg gingerly on top, badly burning yourself for how close you get to the fire.

Hardwon: That's fine.

DM Murph: Just real hot. You guys see the egg moves fitfully and vibrates, until finally, this little black dragon hatchling bursts from the shell with a loud screech. It takes flight with awkward, unsure wings, and dips in to, like, attack the crowd, when suddenly you see all of the druids eyes turn green, and you see the dragon stop, as if being held in place by an invisible hand. It turns to Shay, her eyes glowing green with power, and she holds her hands up to it, inviting it. They're in an intense stare down as she and all of the druids focus all of their energy onto it. The dragon hatchling flutters and screeches with fury in her face. Her forehead is tense with veins bulging. You see the other druids are also tense. Moonshine, why don't you go ahead and give me, like, a spell attack, as you're helping with this.

Moonshine: [Disappointed] I got a Nat 1.

DM Murph: Roll with advantage.

Beverly: Oh, roll with advantage. [Laughing]

Moonshine: [In disbelief] Nat 1 again!

DM Murph: [Surprised] Holy shit! Did you just roll two 1s in a row?

Hardwon: Ohhh!

DM Murph: That is insane.

Beverly: Oh, no.

DM Murph: This dragon turns to Moonshine and lets out an acid breath attack! Give me a dexterity saving throw.

Hardwon: Whoa.

Beverly: [Astonished] WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

DM Murph: [Astonished] NO WAY, did you just roll a third 1?!

Hardwon: That's a- go back to the gift dice, go back to the gift dice!

Beverly: Go back to the purple dice, immediately!

DM Murph: This is absolutely insane. I thought this was just flavor, but this thing is going to fuck you up. Okay. You and Matteo get hit with...[dice rolling] for 13 damage.

Beverly: Okay.

DM Murph: You get hit with 13 damage. Beverly and Hardwon, you guys need to get involved. What do you guys do to help?

Beverly: Alright, I-

Hardwon: Is it close enough that I could jump up and try to grab it?

DM Murph: Yeah, you can try to grab it. Give me an athletics check.

Beverly: I'm gonna, yeah-

Hardwon: That is a 16.

DM Murph: Okay. What did you get?

Beverly: That’s a 16 plus animal handling, which is 3. So 19.

DM Murph: Dope.

Hardwon: I go up, grab his legs and try to- me and Beverly are gonna try to-

Beverly: “Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay.”

DM Murph: Yeah. So he only rolled a seven on his athletics. So this, this dragon just breathes this crazy acid breath down on Moonshine, who rolled three 1s in a row. Insane! This was supposed to be a cutscene, but some things just can't be helped. She's being attacked. Hardwon and Beverly tackle the dragon as Beverly starts to pet it.

Beverly: It's okay.

DM Murph: Moonshine, you're able to regather yourself.

Moonshine: “Death, I'm coming for you. Death!”

DM Murph: You focus your energy, all of the druids focus their energy, and finally the dragon calms down to the point that it is just, like, nipping people instead of trying to kill them. He's just exploratory nipping, just like biting at people.

Hardwon: Yeah, that's regular ol’ Paw Paw style too.

DM Murph: Paw Paw, you see Paw Paw runs up and starts biting at the dragon. They start biting at each other. They start wrestling, and Shay turns to you guys and says, [as Shay] “Well, that was insane.”

Moonshine: “Y'all, I think-”

Hardwon: “Shay, that kind of shit happens to us all the time.”

Moonshine: I try and blame it on Matteo, I'm like, "I'm telling you, Matteo was off script back there. That's why."

DM Murph: [as Shay] “You know what? He doesn't, he doesn't read. Isn't that insane?”

Moonshine: “I- imagine not being able to read.”

Beverly: He can read, he just chooses not to.

DM Murph: [as Matteo] “I can read, I just don't like to? Animals-”

Moonshine: “Yeah, that was all Matteo. I was just in the line of sight.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “What would you like to name the dragon?”

Moonshine: “Paw Paw.”

Beverly: “Paw Paw Two.”

Moonshine: “Paw Paw Two.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Paw Paw Two.”

Hardwon: “So we're not going to honor the dead Mishka?”

Beverly: “Oh! I think-”

Moonshine: “You know what? I think we're going to name it Ol’ Beverly.”

Hardwon: “That's solid, too.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Ol’ Beverly.”

Hardwon: “Ol’ Beverly, I like that”.

Beverly: “What about Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the Second?”

Moonshine: “Oh wait no! I meant to say-”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the Second, I think that's a great name.”

Moonshine: “Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the Second.”

Hardwon: “I think it's perfect.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “I don't- there wasn't a first…”

Hardwon: “We got too many people to honor.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “The second of his name, somehow…”

Hardwon: “It's the second Beverly, well, technically, the third Beverly.”

DM Murph: “Okay. Sorry. Repeat the name again.”

Moonshine: “Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the Second.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Alright, everyone. The dragon's name is Mishka Paw Paw Beverly the Second.”

Moonshine: “Y'all, I just hope-”

Hardwon: “You kind of regret letting us name the dragon, huh?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “I- you know what? We might just change the name after you guys leave.”

Moonshine: “I just hope, on our travels, that we can find a keychain that says Mishka Beverly Paw Paw the Second on it, you know?”

Hardwon: “We'll bring it back as a gift!”

Moonshine: “Yeah, exactly.”

Beverly: “Oh, yeah!”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Well, I'm sure you need to be on your way, but we'll miss you. Be sure to come back to Moonstone.”

Hardwon: “Hey, could somebody heal our girl real quick?”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “Yes. Absolutely.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, since Matteo, Matteo's shit got me-”

DM Murph: Peitr, Peitr says, [as Peitr] “You can call me Petri if you would like.” And he Cure Wounds you.

Moonshine: “I'm sorry, is there a difference between what you say and I say? ‘Cause I could swear I'm sayin' it right.”

DM Murph: He heals you back up to full. You're good

Moonshine: “Thank you, Petri.”

DM Murph: Cool.

Moonshine: Now-

Beverly: “Can we ride out of here on Bojangles?”

Moonshine: “On Bojangles.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “You gave us a dragon, you can have Bojangles.”

Beverly: [gasps in surprise]

DM Murph: And you hear a few fishermen go, "Aww!"

Moonshine: “We'll send him back, boys.”

Hardwon: “He's the mayor!”

Moonshine: “He's the mayor!”

Hardwon: “And he's going to run for president.”

DM Murph: [as Shay] “We'll give you Bojangles and a couple other horses. You've more than earned that.”

Beverly: “Hell, yeah.”

Moonshine: “Thank you so much, Shay.”

DM Murph: So you guys take your horses and you ride off. Guys, we're going to take a little break, and then we're going to be joined by Adam Conover.

***

DM Murph: Welcome back, everyone. We've got our first guest, Adam Conover.

Stunkbug: Oh, my gosh. Hello!

DM Murph: Hello, Adam.

Stunkbug: I’m so excited to be here. True story about me. Can I just open with this?

DM Murph: Please.

Moonshine: Yep.

Beverly: Yeah.

Stunkbug: True story about me, as a teenager, I owned hundreds of dollars worth of RPG books. I bought, like, D&D, and like, the dark, the what- whatever, the White Wolf games and everything. I bought, I bought all the books. I had no friends, so I never played.

DM Murph: That is fucking tragic.

Stunkbug: I would buy RPG games, never played a game of D&D until I was, like, in my late twenties-

Hardwon: Damn!

Stunkbug: And it still allows me to live out my- the childhood I never had. So I'm very excited to be here.

Moonshine: Awww!

DM Murph: We're so happy to have you.

Beverly: The dungeoneer’s dilemma, as they call it.

Stunkbug: Look, it's really hard to put together a game if none of the other kids like you. They don't want to spend six hours at your house.

DM Murph: Especially when you were a kid, that was probably, like, 3.5? Or like, was it Advanced Dungeons and Dragons?

Stunkbug: It was second edition.

DM Murph: Jesus.

Stunkbug: Yeah, it was second edition.

Beverly: Oh, my god. That's crunchy.

Stunkbug: I just had a lot of fun reading the books and looking at the pretty pictures.

DM Murph: That would be a tough sell for good friends. Second edition. That's a tough sell.

Stunkbug: It was a lot.

DM Murph: Cool. So we're going to meet- nobody knows what Adam's character is, except for me and Adam, it's our little secret. So you guys have not met Adam's character yet, but you guys are on your way up to Galaderon to go visit Bev's family, passing through Ezry.

Moonshine: Borne on the noble back of Bojangles.

Beverly: The mayor horse.

Moonshine: The mayor horse.

Beverly: He's a mayor and a mare.

Hardwon: Who's riding Bojangles? Which one of you-

DM Murph: Oh yeah, who gets Bojangles?

Moonshine: Bojangles- I have wild shaped into a horse and Bojangles is riding me.

Hardwon: That's how Bojangles travels .

DM Murph: This is insane.

Beverly: And I'm riding on Emily, who's riding on Bojangles. Or wait, no, no, no.

Moonshine: Uh, Moonshine?

Beverly: Sorry.

Hardwon: Who...I still don't know these Emily people.

DM Murph: Entirely stupid. Cool, guys, let's meet Adam, Huh?

Beverly: Yeah, fine.

DM Murph: So you guys also leveled up. You guys leveled up at the end of Moonstone. So you guys are all level four as you arrive. So let me give you guys a little bit of background on Ezry.

Moonshine: Yo, this is some sci-fi shit.

Beverly: Yeah, that seems normal and good.

DM Murph: Unfortunately, once word got out that they were producing super soldiers, Ezry quickly became a popular target of the dark army. But with the help of Alanis, the legendary Elf wizard, Ezry scientists developed a force field bubble to protect the city center and their research. The city continued to produce synthetic Eldritch Knights that proved integral in the war against Asmodeus. But now the city is in a crisis. While many of the synthetic Eldritch knights were killed in battle, the ones who weren't slowly saw their powers fade away and became ill. A drug form of the synthetic wild magic was developed to treat those addicts with smaller dosages, but this quickly led to abuse and even more dangerous street versions of the drug. Now, paranoid wild magic users roam outer Ezry, and an ambitious drug dealer is its unofficial ruler. Meanwhile, those lucky enough to live within the arcane bubble are either blissfully ignorant to the outside danger or racing to find a solution.

Hardwon: This is classic coming- like that coming home disorder. You know, it's tough. It’s tough.

Beverly: Yeah.

Moonshine: Yeah. Oh, yeah, because they were- yeah, they have PTSD, and now they're gonna come home and become alcoholics and drug addicts. And the city is run by a drug lord?

DM Murph: The outer edge of the city. It's kind of like mob rule, basically.

Beverly: So we gotta- this is a dome city, is what you're saying.

DM Murph: Rich people in this town literally live in a bubble.

Beverly: Hell yeah.

Moonshine: Y'all, Moonshine-

DM Murph: The metaphor is not subtle.

Moonshine: Moonshine is of the people. She isn't going to that bubble. She's gonna go on the outskirts and talk to people, and whip up a pot of jambalaya for the peasants.

DM Murph: Cool. That might be tough to do. Let's get into it. So you guys, as you approach-

Moonshine: I'll definitely get attacked the second I take out my slotted spoon.

DM Murph: Also, you guys are going to Ezry to, like, meet with the magic scientists so you guys can find out what type of sword.

Moonshine: Right.

Hardwon: We do have the- yeah, yeah, we have the sword.

DM Murph: Anyway. As you guys approach the outskirts of the city, you can already see the city center in the distance. There are four high-rising arches that surround it. The buildings inside the center itself are blurred by the effects of the arcane force field. This is the bubble. In the outer circle, where you guys are right now, there are no big buildings, just small homes and businesses, many of them derelict or boarded up, either because they're abandoned or because the people inside don't want anyone to get in. The city does not have a lot of foot traffic, but you do see a few groups of ruffians hanging out, a shambling madman yelling at no one in particular, and a few regular people, head down, going about their business. So you guys get to the city gates, and you see two guards in beat up breastplates, and they're just talking to each other. They're paying you guys no mind as you approach on your horses.

Moonshine: “Y'all-”

DM Murph: In the distance, you hear explosions and yelling, and the guards don't react. They just keep talking to each other.

Moonshine: “Y'all, I hate to say it, but...something's shitty in this city.”

Hardwon: Niceeee.

Stunkbug: Wow, so crude, yet so poetic.

Beverly: Yeah, it's messy in Ezry.

Hardwon: I'm gonna ask these- can I ask these guards, “What- hey, what's going on? Why aren't you guys concerned?”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “What? What do...hey-”

Hardwon: “There was an explosion?”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Hey, yeah, no, There's explosions all the time. Yeah, there's fucking- man, I don't know, man. Do you want to fight 'em? I don't want to fight 'em.”

Beverly: “We're travelers, we're not quite familiar with the multitude of explosions going on in your fair city. Could you let us know wh- why are there explosions? First question.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, and why aren't you doing anything about it?”

DM Murph: You see, they take one look at you, Beverly, this gold-toed boy.

Beverly: Yes.

DM Murph: And they say-

Moonshine: “That's not a manicure.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “You, you look like a bubble boy, all right? Why don't you put your head down and just be a good boy.”

Beverly: “Bubble boy?”

Hardwon: “Do you have any idea how many people we've killed in the last three days?”

Moonshine: “And how savagely we've done it? We ain't, I'm telling you what, we ain't exactly putting our hands over people's mouths and givin' them a peaceful death.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “All right, well, since you threatened me in a way, look, alright.” you hear more explosions and yelling on, and he goes, “Oh, there's...there's this drug. It's called R. Cane. There are street versions of it that are super dangerous. The people who get the bad stuff, you know, they turn into crazy, wild magic sorcerers, yada, yada, yada. They're out there blowing stuff up, there's some guy getting wrangled right now or something. I don't know. He's shooting fire. Whatever. What is he shooting, Ray?” And you see the other guy looks out and he goes, [As Guard Ray] "It's like some kind of Fireball."

Beverly: “Okay.”

Hardwon: “So this is just running rampant in your city.”

Beverly: “So this is-”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Oh yeah, no, yeah.”

Hardwon: “What are you even doing at the gate?”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Um, you know, technically, we're doing a job, but we only get paid, like, five silver a day, so...”

Beverly: “Do you want to, like, check our passports or something? I just, I feel like-”

Hardwon: “No, no, no, no, no, we're good, it's good.”

Moonshine: Can I send Paw Paw to go scurry up the wall and then report back to me what he sees over the wall?

DM Murph: Paw Paw scurries up a building, and then Paw Paw scurries back. Are you going to cast speak with animals?

Moonshine: Nah.

DM Murph: Paw Paw just goes, [excitedly] "Reer reer reer reer reer! Reeeeeer, reer reeeer!"

Moonshine: “Paw Paw, act it out, use your charades!”

Hardwon: “Charades, Paw Paw.”

Moonshine: “Use your charades.”

DM Murph: You see, he pretends to be a big, buff guy. He's walking around. He's walking around making a serious face.

Moonshine: “Y'all, there is some beefcake on the other side of this wall.”

Beverly: Uh, Murph, did we rest during our journey, or was this a one day thing?

DM Murph: Oh, yeah, no, you guys were on the road for a couple days.

Beverly: Okay, so we're back at full health, we've got all our slots?

DM Murph: Oh, yeah. You got all your-

Stunkbug: Do I got my slots?

DM Murph: You got your slots.

Beverly: I have one additional question for you, the DM.

DM Murph: Yes?

Beverly: Is R. Cane spelled a dumb way?

DM Murph: Oh yeah, dude. You know it is. R period space Cane capitalized C.

Beverly: Fuck yeah.

Stunkbug: Because it is cocaine, but it's magic. It's arcane, R. Cane. R. Cane.

Hardwon: I- Hardwon's going to take just a little-

DM Murph: This is Adam's character, he's just-

Hardwon: He's...he's the drug dealer?

Moonshine: Adam's the bad guy?

Hardwon: [imitating Stunkbug] “You guys want some R. Cane?”

Hardwon: I take some.

Beverly: I want to ask...I talk to the guards one more time. “Ray, was it?”

DM Murph: You see, Ray turns around. He was the other guy. [As Guard Ray] “Yeah. Wha- what?”

Beverly: “Hi, Beverly Toegold the Fifth, very nice to meet you.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Cool, alright. What's up, bubble boy?”

Beverly: “That's...That's a hurtful nickname. I, uh...uh, I was wondering, we have an item here, and we're just trying to get it appraised? We're wondering who we might want to talk to about that.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, that's just something we picked up at a flea market, of no import whatsoever.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Oh, that...that sword?”

Beverly: “Yeah!”

Moonshine: “What sword? No, no, it's not a sword.”

Hardwon: “No- [crosstalk]”

DM Murph: Have you guys- did Beverly show them the sword?

Hardwon: No, no, no, it's in the cloak.

Beverly: Ah, no, I just-

DM Murph: It's in a cloak?

Beverly: Yeah, it's in a cloak

DM Murph: [As Guard] “What do you...what do you got? What do you got there?”

Moonshine: “Yeah, we-”

Hardwon: “It's a cloak, dude. Why do you care? Just tell us who to take it to.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “I don't give a shit about a cloak.”

Hardwon: “Alright, who do we take it to?”

Moonshine: “We got a cool coin. I got a cool coin and I want to know if it…”

Beverly: No, no, no, I hold up the-

Moonshine: “I wanna know where its from.”

Beverly: Murph, I hold up the amulet of Pelor.

DM Murph: He looks at it. It is made of platinum. And he goes, [As Guard] “Oh, well, yeah, I'll take that. I'll take a look at that.”

Moonshine: “No. No.”

Beverly: “Ah, I would feel more comfortable if I could hold on to it. We're just more wondering if you know what we want.”

Moonshine: “You know what, I think we're just gonna walk past ya.”

DM Murph: “I think that would be a good idea.”

Beverly: “Okay.”

Moonshine: “Alright. I’d tip my hat to ya, but I don't think you tip it back.”

DM Murph: [As Guard] “Fuck you. Fuck off.”

Moonshine: “That's kind of what I was sayin', but with-”

DM Murph: He gives you guys the finger.

Beverly: “Have a nice day.”

Moonshine: I cast my Chill Touch as a middle finger

DM Murph: [As Guard] "Hey!" You give him the middle finger. Ray flips you off as well.

Hardwon: They don't even notice the horse riding a horse.

Beverly: Yeah.

Hardwon: They really- they really should be impressed.

Beverly: Cool city. Cool city So far. Um...hmm.

Moonshine: Okay, yeah. Let's go in. I think we should prepare for the worst and I guess go in.

DM Murph: You walk into the city. You see an imposing figure in a hooded cloak, and he's being attacked by a madman possessed with wild magic, whipping bolts of fire. The figure dodges the magic deftly, reaches the man, bashes him with the butt of his weapon. It looks like a big staff, like a lance. The sounds of explosions and arcane energy suddenly stop, and the madman is knocked out, falling to the ground. The imposing figure picks him up, slings him over his shoulder, starts walking towards the city center.

Beverly: “What? Hey!”

Moonshine: “Hey!”

Beverly: “Hey, hey, hey!”

Hardwon: “Sir!”

Moonshine: “Excuse me, sir?”

DM Murph: Adam, you hear some people yelling behind you.

Stunkbug: I keep- I keep walking.

DM Murph: Oh, shit! This dude just keeps walking.

Moonshine: “Sir, sir, we're...uh, excuse me, I'm just a kindly Crick woman, looking for some hospitality outside the Crick, sir. Might I find it in your bosom?”

Stunkbug: I turn and look at them, but I don't say anything.

DM Murph: You turn and look-

Stunkbug: I was like, ‘Who the hell are these people?’

DM Murph: You guys see this big imposing Orc.

Beverly: Oh, shit.

DM Murph: This badass-

Stunkbug: Yeah, I'm an Orc babyyy!

Moonshine: Oh my goodness.

DM Murph: He's wearing black plate. He kind of looks like Batman mixed with Donatello.

Beverly: That's very good.

Hardwon: Oh, that's dope.

DM Murph: At a glance.

Moonshine: “Sir, are you some kind of bounty hunter?”

Stunkbug: “Uh, yes, I am.”

Moonshine: “Or sort of like a rogue police officer?”

Stunkbug: “I am a bounty hunter. Uh, why do you inquire?”

Moonshine: “Well, honestly, we're looking for safe passage into the heart of this city, and it seems like the climate here is a bit complicated.”

Beverly: I would like to approach the Orc, and I hold up my signet ring and say, "Hello there. My name is Beverly, and I'm a bubble boy, and I am a...I've got business in the center of the city, and you seem like you know your way around. Could you help me and my friends, my two scout masters here, find our way in? There's going to be a Green Teen potluck in the center of the city, and we are a little bit late.”

Moonshine: I don't even know if Beverly thinks he's lying. This is fascinating.

Hardwon: I'm just going to sidle up behind Beverly. "Hey man, look, we got this evil sword that we need to take- we gotta take into the center of the city."

Moonshine: “Yeah, I kind of instinctively trust ya, I don't know what it is.”

Stunkbug: Okay so I think that, I think that these are some unhinged vagrants.

Hardwon: And you wouldn't- you wouldn't be wrong.

Stunkbug: Because they've all come up and said different things I've never heard of before. One's chattering about an evil sword.

Moonshine: “How about this? I know what'll make you more comfortable. Do you like to imbibe?”

Beverly: “Sir, how would you feel-”

Stunkbug: “Depending on the year of the vintage, yes.”

Moonshine: “Well, have you ever tried a nice vintage crick water? It's caffeinated and alcohol.”

Hardwon: “It's sort of like Four Loko.”

Stunkbug: “My interest is piqued.”

Moonshine: I take out a little flask and I'm like, “You don't drink it, you just kind of huff it.”

Stunkbug: I sniff it. What does it smell like? What does it actually smell like?

DM Murph: You're already a little drunk.

Stunkbug: Just from smelling it?

DM Murph: Just from smelling it.

Stunkbug: I'm very- I'm very impressed.

Moonshine: “So you see, we're the real deal.”

Stunkbug: “Do you...do you make this substance? What do you...”

Moonshine: “Well, I got a bunch of flasks in my satchel. But I also, like, if I sweat too much, it's Crick water still, even though I've been gone from the Crick for awhile, so...”

Beverly: “You don't want to ask any more questions about it.”

Stunkbug: “If you- if you provide me with a dozen flagons of this, uh, of this fine, uh, potion-”

Moonshine: “Huffin' water? Yeah.”

Stunkbug: “I will bring you across the border and nothing more.”

Moonshine: “You got it.” Moonshine rifles through her satchel, pulling out just dirty clothing, and just leaving it on the-

Hardwon: Wringing it into her flask.

Stunkbug: Oh, god, I'm...I’m revolted.

DM Murph: Dope. She does this for a good hour and a half as everyone just sits there and waits.

Hardwon: The city burns down.

Beverly: [crosstalk] -over my shoulder.

DM Murph: The guy, the guy wakes up, you butt him again, he goes back down.

Beverly: I guess while she's pulling out the flask, I- I go up to the Orc and say, “What is your name, fair traveler?”

Stunkbug: “Uh, nice to meet you. My name is Stunkbug.”

Hardwon: “Your first name is Stunkbug, or your full name?”

Stunkbug: “My only- my only name is Stunkbug.”

Moonshine: “May I call you-”

Stunkbug: “It is a bit of an embarrassment, but is the name my mother gave me, sir.”

Beverly: “I see.”

Moonshine: “May I call you Señor Stunk?”

Stunkbug: “Uh, I ask that you please do not.”

Beverly: “It's...it's very-”

Hardwon: “She often doesn't listen.”

Beverly: “It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Bug.”

Stunkbug: “That- that's okay.”

Beverly: “Okay, Mr. Bug.”

Stunkbug: I snort slightly, but I'm like, “That's okay, you can call me Mr. Bug.”

Beverly: “Could you please lead us into the city? Time is of the essence. I've got to meet my parents soon.”

Stunkbug: “Okay, just...don't embarrass me. Let's go.”

Beverly: “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Moonshine: “I will be on my best behavior.”

DM Murph: So you guys start walking. As you guys approach this arcane bubble, you see that the inside of the bubble is still just as blurry as when you were far away. When you touch it, it's hard as rock. But you see...Stinkbug, was it?

Hardwon: Stunkbug.

Stunkbug: Stunk. Stunkbug.

DM Murph: God damn it.

Moonshine: Stunkbug!

DM Murph: This is what happens when you don't run names by me before we start.

Stunkbug: I don't have-

DM Murph: He's- he's Stunkbug!

Hardwon: Stunkbug is a great name.

Moonshine: I love Stunkbug.

DM Murph: His name is goddamn Stunkbug and there’s-

Stunkbug: Stunk, Stunkbug.

Moonshine: AKA-

DM Murph: There's nothing I could do about it.

Moonshine: “AKA Señor Stunk.”

Stunkbug: “No, please do not call me Señor Stunk.”

DM Murph: Mr. Bug is okay. Stunkbug is okay. But Señor Stunk, no.

Hardwon: You got to draw the line somewhere.

DM Murph: So you see, he's got this big blue gauntlet. Holds up his hand, clenches his fist, turns blue with arcane energy, and you guys are able to put your hands on him, and he takes you guys into the bubble.

Moonshine: Is it like a transport? Is it like a teleportation field?

DM Murph: It feels just like walking through an open doorway. So you guys see immediately that inside the bubble is a whole different world. The buildings are beautiful, Elven and Gnomish architecture. All delicate, quirky and magical. The streets are spotless. You actually see as soon as you guys walk in, an enchanted broom start cleaning the path behind you guys.

Moonshine: “Oh, Melora.”

Beverly: “Oh, a broomba! We have one of those at my house.”

Hardwon: “These greedy fuckin’ nobles.”

Moonshine: “I know you say that, but then you're also like, ‘I could get used to this.’”

Hardwon: “Don't forget where you came from, Moonshine.”

Moonshine: “You’re right.”

Beverly: “So how long have you worked for the inner dome?”

Stunkbug: How long have- how long have I?

DM Murph: You've been in there, inside the dome, for about a year now.

Stunkbug: Okay, yeah.

Beverly: Murph, I imagine I'd be pretty familiar with, like, Ezry, I've probably been here before.

DM Murph: Yeah.

Beverly: “Yeah, I think I did mention that my parents have a town house here.”

Hardwon: “Yes, you did.”

Moonshine: “Summer house.”

Beverly: “Summer house, yeah.”

Stunkbug: “Oh, a rich kid. Okay, you are a bubble boy.”

Beverly: “I'm a bubble boy! I don't like that nickname, because when I was- when I was a little kid in kindergarten, I was blowing bubbles, and some mean bullies made me drink the entire bottle of bubbles, so it has bad connotations for me, but-”

Moonshine: “Yeah, and yet you embraced it real quick.”

Beverly: “Well, you know, it's helping us get inside, so...we're all swallowing our pride a little bit.”

Moonshine: “And bubble juice.”

Stunkbug: “Well, it's wonderful. It's wonderful to live inside. I used to live outside, but now I live inside it. It's much- it's much nicer in here.”

Hardwon: “It seems a lot better.”

Beverly: “Well-”

Moonshine: “Oh my, you made the transition.”

Beverly: “So congratulations to you on your upward progress.”

Stunkbug: “Thank you.”

Beverly: “We're looking to find an appraiser of sorts. We've got a few items that we want to get checked out. It's just some run of the mill family heirlooms of mine.”

Stunkbug: “Okay, well, if these are magical items, I have great fonts of arcane knowledge, and so I could perhaps help you out.”

Moonshine: “Oh, so you might- perhaps we should get, like, a nice seat somewhere, so we're not doing this in the middle of the street.”

Hardwon: “Yeah, is there, can we go back to your place?”

Stunkbug: “Uh, why don't I take you to neutral territory, like, you know, a public place where-”

Hardwon: “That...I was a little forward.”

Stunkbug: “I'm not going to take you to my-”

Hardwon: “Yeah, I know.”

Stunkbug: “We've known each other for for 10 minutes, sir. I'm not-”

Hardwon: “I blow it like this all the time.”

Stunkbug: “I'm not ready to invite you into my home.”

DM Murph: So, you have this guy. Usually, you bring your wild magic addicts to the police barracks, then the police captain delivers them to the city rehab herself.

Stunkbug: Okay.

DM Murph: So you have that. You also- the other places in town that you would kind of know of. You know of this place called the Blue Mana Inn and Tavern, which is kind of this fancy tavern that has a, like, air elemental that makes drinks. So it looks like all the drinks are floating and stuff, and it’s magic.

Beverly: Cool.

Moonshine: Oh, gosh.

DM Murph: It's very posh. And then you also have- you know of Professor Duttle, who has his laboratory and such.

Stunkbug: Got it.

Beverly: I cannot wait to hear Professor Duttle's voice.

Stunkbug: “Okay, well, look, I have to drop...I have to drop this fine fellow off at the police barracks. If you want to meet me later at Professor Duttle's, I will introduce you. And you know, he can handle whatever things you need done. In the meantime, if you need some place to chill out, I suggest the Blue Mana. You must try the drinks. It is incredible.”

Beverly: “Ooh.”

Moonshine: “Uh huh, okay.”

Stunkbug: “This place, the air elemental bartender will blow your mind. I'm not kidding, you gotta check it out.”

Moonshine: “Do they do tapas?”

Stunkbug: “What did you say?”

Moonshine: “Do they do tapas?”

Hardwon: “Small shared plates.”

Stunkbug: “So many tapas.”

Moonshine: “Small shared plates.”

Stunkbug: “Nothing but tapas. The cook would rather kill himself than serve a large plate. You will get so full on apps. Don't even ask. Don't- a brunch there? My god.”

Moonshine: “Thank you so much.”

Beverly: “Thank you.”

Moonshine: “We will definitely be en route to Blue Mana.”

Beverly: “I called tapas regular food.”

Moonshine: “Oh my…”

Stunkbug: “Come on.”

DM Murph: God damn it.

Moonshine: “That bubble appetite.”

Stunkbug: “God damn it.”

Beverly: “Cause I'm small.”

Stunkbug: “This halfling is a cut-up.”

Hardwon: “You know what? I don't want Bev drinking and getting fucked up anymore.”

Moonshine: “Fair, fair, fair.”

Beverly: “I will volunteer to go with Mr. Bug, just so that we don't totally lose track of him.”

Hardwon: “Okay, so wait, you go with him-”

Stunkbug: I don't agree to let you follow me, but I can't stop you either.

Beverly: “I'm very interested in the law enforcement procedures here. Do you mind if I come with you?”

Stunkbug: “You know, it's a free country.”

DM Murph: It's like kicking a dog, saying no to Beverly.

Beverly: “It's actually not. It's a monarchy, so that's not technically true, but I'll still come with you.”

Stunkbug: “Scouts…”

Hardwon: “Yeah. I need a break from that kid. I'm going to- gonna go to the Blue Mana.”

Stunkbug: “This is why you don't have kids.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, I'll go to the Blue Mana, too.”

DM Murph: Okay.

Moonshine: I'm gonna send Paw Paw with Beverly, though.

Beverly: Okay, yeah.

Hardwon: So, yeah, Paw Paw can come back and alert us if you-

Moonshine: Yeah, yeah.

DM Murph: You see a rabid little possum crawl up on to Beverly's shoulder.

Stunkbug: Oh, that's what Paw Paw is?

DM Murph: That's what Paw Paw is.

Stunkbug: Oh, gross.

Beverly: Emily, do you want to...give me, like, a little mushroom?

Moonshine: Yeah, I'm going to give you- I'm going to put my- put my hand on you- or I'm gonna tussle your hair, and you don't know it, but I'm leaving some spores in there.

Hardwon: Oh, nice.

DM Murph: Oh, gross.

Moonshine: So that I can get a sense on you.

DM Murph: So, to you right now, Stunkbug, it just looks like this little boy has so much dandruff, and-

Beverly: Yep, seems per the part.

DM Murph: And he has a little possum.

Beverly: “I use a dry shampoo, it doesn't always work.”

Hardwon: “But he still cleans himself way more than Moonshine does.

Beverly: “Yes.”

Moonshine: “What you talking about? I'm taking a bath right now.”

Hardwon: “Yeah, you think puddles are baths.”

Beverly: Moonshine's just taking a bath in public. You're just pouring crick water on yourself.

Stunkbug: “Oh god, okay. Let's just go, okay? I'm going to the barracks.”

DM Murph: Great.

Stunkbug: “I am going. I am walking. You do what you want.”

DM Murph: Stunkbug...god damn it. Stunkbug and Beverly take off to the barracks. Moonshine and Hardwon go to the Blue Mana Inn and Tavern. We'll start with Stunkbug and Beverly...

Beverly: Hurray!

DM Murph: Stunkbug and Beverly, you guys get to the barracks. You see it looks like a small, heavily militarized castle that's shaped like a square, and there are four tower structures at each corner. Around the barracks are what are called Bubble Knights. They're essentially the city watch, whose jurisdiction is within the bubble. They wear this beautiful dark blue plate armor, and they've got this charismatic, magical glow, and-

Beverly: Are they- are they human? Or are they like-

DM Murph: They're all different kinds of races.

Beverly: But they're people. They're not, like, constructs.

DM Murph: Right, they're not constructs. They are-

Stunkbug: Are they encased in bubbles or anything? Or just called Bubble Knights?

DM Murph: They're just called Bubble Knights 'cause they work in the bubble.

Beverly: Gotcha.

Stunkbug: Okay, got it.

Hardwon: [to the tune of Bubble Butt] Bubble Knights, Bubble, Bubble, Bubble Knights. They have to have a theme song.

Stunkbug: Yeah, do they have big butts?

DM Murph: Yeah, some of them, sure.

Beverly: Bubble Knight is my favorite Neo Geo game.

DM Murph: Let me roll for how many out of twenty have big butts. That's a 1. Only one.

Hardwon: The song’s just about him.

DM Murph: One with a perfect nice ass.

Hardwon: Bubble Knight.

DM Murph: A gnome with a huge butt.

Hardwon: Bubble, Bubble, Bubble Knight.

Stunkbug: I wink at him.

DM Murph: He pretends not to see you. So you guys walk into this barracks, you got this dude over your shoulder. You plop him down to the desk sergeant, and he goes, [as Desk Sergeant] "Ah, another one, Stunkbug? Alright."

Stunkbug: "Yup."

DM Murph: He yells to guards around. He says, [as Desk Sergeant] "Alright, let's put the suppressors on for now. Captain Oswald will want to take this guy over later." And as the desk sergeant's dealing with you, you see Lieutenant Bricker, who is this dwarf woman with a full mustache.

Hardwon: So hot.

Moonshine: Hell yeah.

DM Murph: She's this by-the-books cop who you have a rivalry with because you're a bounty hunter.

Stunkbug: “Hello, Bricker.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Stunkbug. Renegade. Bringing more of your trash in here. Is that right?”

Stunkbug: “Same speech every time, Bricker. I'm just trying to do my job as a bounty hunter for the bubble city.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “I don't-”

[laughing]

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “I don't like the cut of your jib, Stunkbug! You know there's a reason there's a rule book, okay? You can't just throw it out.”

Beverly: Oh, I like her.

Stunkbug: “You know, I'm just as God made me, ma'am.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Alright.”

Stunkbug: “I can't- I can't change my ways.”

Beverly: “Hi, I'm Beverly.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Shut...shut...shut up! Shush!”

Beverly: “Do you mind if I interview you? I'm trying to get my law enforcement patch.”

Stunkbug: “God damn it.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Now see, now here's a kid who's got his head on straight. Alright. Alright, well, Captain Oswald wants to talk to you, Stunkbug. I'll talk to this kid.”

Beverly: Okay. I pull out a pad, and I guess it would be like a stylus of some sort, and I start taking notes.

DM Murph: Good, cool.

Stunkbug: “You two seem made for each other, so I hope you have a nice time.”

DM Murph: Lieutenant Bricker talks to you about how important the rules are.

Beverly: “I agree.”

DM Murph: Talks about how bounty hunters are renegades. You can't trust 'em.

Stunkbug: Oh, paladins.

Beverly: “Trust is a powerful tool.”

DM Murph: Stunkbug, you go back into Captain Oswald's office. It's got this oak desk covered in papers and scrolls. There are candles magically hovering in the corners of the room, giving it a soft glow. Captain Oswald is this tall Elven woman with bright yellow hair gleaming with magical energy. She wears the same dark blue armor as the other Bubble Knights. You see, as soon as you walk in, she closes the door behind you, and you guys are in this room by yourselves. And she says-

Stunkbug: Oh, the sexual tension is crackling already, oh, man.

DM Murph: Yeah, some of-

Stunkbug: Anything could happen in here.

Beverly: It's that kind of show.

DM Murph: Some of the candles start crackling a little harder, possibly feeding off the arcane sexual energy.

Stunkbug: There's just an attraction, it's never been spoken. There's just an attraction.

Beverly: You haven't had sex until you've had magic sex. It's different.

DM Murph: So, she turns to you and she says, [as Captain Oswald] “Got a lead on our guy. There's an underground fight ring happening in the basement of the Bone and Barrel.” You know the Bone and Barrel as being this, like, sort of roughneck bar that's in the outer rim of the city. Kind of like the Mos Eisley cantina. And she says, "Apparently, one of the brawlers tonight is one of Skullis' guys, so there's a good chance he'll be there.”

Stunkbug: “All right, then I'll be there, too.”

DM Murph: [as Captain Oswald] “All right. Just be careful.”

Stunkbug: “I can't- I can't hold myself responsible for what I do when I see Skullis, considering what he did to my brother.”

DM Murph: [as Captain Oswald] “I understand, Stunkbug. But you're not going to be able to get your revenge if you just start a fight with him out in the open in a bar.”

Stunkbug: “I know. I know.”

DM Murph: [as Captain Oswald] “That bar is crawling with his men. Make sure if you do anything, there's not too many people around.”

Stunkbug: “Ohh.”

Beverly: I knock on the door and say, "Do you know where the bathroom is?"

DM Murph: [as Captain Oswald] “Why don't you get going?”

Stunkbug: “Okay. I don't know who that is. Who's- did you- are you letting it-”

Beverly: “Mr. Bug, it's me, Beverly. I can hear you.”

Stunkbug: “Is it bring your Halfling to work day, like, I don't know who this kid is.”

DM Murph: [as Captain Oswald] “Anyway, as always, this conversation never happened.”

Stunkbug: “Of course. Thank- thank you.”

Beverly: “OK, I didn't hear it.”

Stunkbug: I linger and try- try to get her gaze for- for an extra moment.

DM Murph: Okay, you see, she kind of looks at you, considers it for a second and then looks away. [as Captain Oswald] "You should go."

Stunkbug: “Oh, I'll see- I'll see you-” I can't think anything cool to say and I leave. I tried to say something smooth and I bail.

DM Murph: Stunkbug opens the door, Beverly's right there.

Stunkbug: “God damn it!”

Beverly: “Hi! Who was that?”

Stunkbug: "Uh, a friend." I slam the door.

DM Murph: Great.

Beverly: “Huh, you looked at her for a long time.”

Stunkbug: “Uh, yeah, well, you need to use your eyes to see things that you want to- if you want to know where they are.”

Beverly: “That's exactly what Lieutenant Bricker said.”

DM Murph: You see, Lieutenant Bricker rounds the corner. [As Lieutenant Bricker] "Well, well, well. If it's not the bounty hunter."

Stunkbug: “Oh, god. We just did this, like, five minutes ago.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “You're a cut throat, Stunkbug and I don't like it.”

Stunkbug: “It's literally the same speech.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] "A privateer, a pirate. Why don't you take your gold and go?" And she throws you 10 gold.

Stunkbug: “Okay, thank- thank y- kind of discriminatory, just throwing it at me.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Well, it's in a little pouch.”

Stunkbug: “Okay.” I pick it up from the ground. I say, "Thank you. Thank you very much."

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] "You're welcome. I wasn't expecting you to say thank you, but..."

Stunkbug: “Well, I believe in being professional, Bricker.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “No one loves professionalism more than Lieutenant Candace Bricker!”

Stunkbug: “Candace, you know, we don't-”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Do not call me Candace, damn it!”

Stunkbug: “I just think we don't need to have a contentious relationship, Candace.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “You just take the book and you throw it out the window. Well, why don't you follow the book out the window and skedaddle?”

Stunkbug: “Where- what exactly is the book? I've never seen the book. You talk about the book like it's a physical book-”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “The book's out there! Go get it.”

Stunkbug: “This is a metaphor-”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “The book’s out there!”

Stunkbug: “That you've been using to refer to some body of laws.”

Beverly: I, uh-

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “I'm gonna go.”

Beverly: I start tugging on, on Mr Bug, being like, "We gotta go catch up with them". I do thank Lieutenant Bricker for the honorary police chief badge that- it's a sticker, it's a golden sticker that she gave me, and I have put it on my sash.

DM Murph: Cool, Lieutenant Bricker gets down on one knee and says to you, [As Lieutenant Bricker] "You be careful around this guy. He'll do anything for a gold piece."

Beverly: “I'll keep that in mind.”

Stunkbug: “I mean, we all need to eat, so everyone would-”

Beverly: “I have a lot of gold pieces, so I'll be careful.”

DM Murph: [As Lieutenant Bricker] “Yep, definitely don't mention that outside of the bubble, kid. Alright, bubble boy, why don't you get going?”

Beverly: “Okay.”

Stunkbug: Alright.

Beverly: Alright, so I guess we head back towards the Blue Mana?

DM Murph: So Moonshine and Hardwon. Meanwhile, you guys have been having a drink over at the Blue Mana Inn and Tavern. It's a small, posh little cocktail bar. There are little blue spheres inside magic lanterns that turn the whole room a light shade of blue. You see all these well-to-do gnomes and elves sitting about drinking fancy cocktails, and this air elemental whipping them up, seemingly out of thin air. You guys have been sitting at the bar for a little bit-

Hardwon: I got two.

DM Murph: What- always drinking two drinks, these-

Hardwon: That's- that's my thing.

DM Murph: What did you order, by the way? Like, did you order anything special? Did you ask for...?

Hardwon: I said, “What's your biggest air-,” What is it called?

DM Murph: He- that air elemental asked you what your mood was. You just hear a whisper on the wind. [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “Whatever you're feeling.”

Hardwon: “Fierce.”

Stunkbug: Very avant garde.

Hardwon: “I'm fury- I'm feeling fierce and I'm feeling it twice.”

DM Murph: He pours you two shots of regular whiskey. But it looks super magical when he does it. But you notice it's, like, name brand- he tries to hide the label from you, but it's clearly, like, Maker's Mark.

Hardwon: “Yeah, our guardian used to drink that at the dwarfanage, actually.”

Stunkbug: The dwarfanage...

DM Murph: You don't see it, but you feel the wind turn to you, Moonshine. [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “What are you feeling?”

Moonshine: “Honestly, I am feelin' open to a new experience, fertile as always.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “New experience, are you sure about that?”

Stunkbug: Did you say you feel fertile?

Moonshine: Yeah, um-

Hardwon: She's very fertile.

Moonshine: Dangerously fertile. Um, I don't-

Beverly: Probably shouldn't drink, but-

Moonshine: “I don't know. When you whisper it, I feel less open to a new experience, but, uh, yeah, I'm feelin' open.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “Alright.” You see, he pours-

Moonshine: “I might have done somethin’ wrong.”

DM Murph: He pours from all of these different bottles. They're just, like, regular stuff, like schnapps and shit. But then there's like-

Hardwon: “This looks like a Long Island iced tea so far.”

Moonshine: “Are you makin' a long island iced tea? That's what I was thinkin'!”

DM Murph: He makes you a Long Island iced tea. But then you see this little cauldron come up, and he pours some mysterious, frothy green liquid in it, and he hands it to you. [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “There it is, a new experience.”

Hardwon: “This feels like it could be a-”

Moonshine: “Y'all, I think I just got roofied.”

Hardwon: “Yeah…”

Beverly: Should definitely do a, a...

Moonshine: “You wanna swap drinks?”

DM Murph: So meanwhile, Beverly and Stunkbug show up in the tavern. You see Moonshine-

Stunkbug: I greet everybody. “Francoise, good to see you. How have you been?”

DM Murph: [as Francoise] “Hey!”

Stunkbug: “Hello.”

DM Murph: [as Francoise] “How are you?”

Stunkbug: I get up to my normal seat.

Hardwon: “This orc, you just upgraded your life so much, it feels like. You went from outs- like, outside of town to inside.’

Stunkbug: “Oh, yeah-”

Hardwon: “High society.”

Stunkbug: “Oh, I used to live in literal shit.”

Hardwon: “And you're not looking back.”

Moonshine: “Dang!”

Stunkbug: “And now I live high on the hog, you know-”

Hardwon: “It's rags to riches, man.”

Stunkbug: “I've got a view.”

Hardwon: “The bubble dream.”

Stunkbug: “Yeah, so-”

Moonshine: “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Stunkbug: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “Did you have to turn your back on where you came from to improve your station? Did you betray someone to get here? Or is this just a hard work, kind of...?”

Stunkbug: “It was- it was a matter of- it was a matter of hard work. I, uh, well, my brother was murdered by R. Cane dealers-”

Moonshine: “Okay! We're gettin' into it, huh?”

Stunkbug: “Yes.”

Moonshine: “Thank you. Honestly, I appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough with us to talk about what you've been through, and I'm so charmed.”

Hardwon: I'm gonna finish my first drink.

Stunkbug: “I do- I, I am having second thoughts, now that you put it that way.”

Beverly: I, um-

Stunkbug: “Why am I being so forthcoming?”

Beverly: I want to order a drink for- for Mr Bug.

DM Murph: [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “Yes, how are you feeling?”

Stunkbug: “A dry martini, please.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie, Air Elemental] “Of course, Mr. Bug.”

Moonshine: “Um, Mr. Bug-”

Stunkbug: “Thank you. Thank you, Reggie.”

Moonshine: “Will you-”

DM Murph: Reggie whips up a dry martini and pours it for you. Stunkbug, you look over at Moonshine's drink. You recognise that as being this crazy fucking psychedelic trip drink.

Stunkbug: “Oh, wow.”

Moonshine: “I haven't taken a sip yet, ‘cause I'm worried I got roofied. Will you smell it and tell me if something's wrong?”

Stunkbug: Is this something people drink regularly, do like-

DM Murph: People- people drink it sometimes. What it does mechanically is you roll a D6 twice. One of your stats turns to 1, and one of your stats goes up to 30.

Beverly: Drink it, drink it!

Stunkbug: I say “oh, Reggie is very good at these.”

Moonshine: “Okay!”

Stunkbug: “You should give it a try.”

Moonshine: I throw it back.

DM Murph: You throw it back. Roll me a d6.

Moonshine: 3.

DM Murph: 3, okay. Roll it again.

Moonshine: 4.

DM Murph: Moonshine, you take a sip, your constitution shoots up to 30. You are suddenly like, super buff and hardy.

Moonshine: “Oh my god, oh, Melora.”

DM Murph: And you feel healthier and happier than you’ve ever felt.

Stunkbug: “My word, your skin is glowing.”

Moonshine: “Melora, thank you!”

DM Murph: But your intelligence is a 1. You are a complete fucking moron. You can’t-

Hardwon: “Welcome to the family, Moonshine!”

DM Murph: You can’t even speak

Moonshine: “We’re siblings?!”

DM Murph: You can’t even speak, you don’t know what that means.

Moonshine: [Random noises]

Hardwon: You turned to Paw Paw.

DM Murph: Paw Paw, Paw Paw is smarter than you right now. Paw Paw- You see Paw Paw looks at you super concerned. [as Paw Paw, alarmed] “REER! Reer, reer, reer!”

Moonshine: “Reer, reer, reer, reer!”

DM Murph: [as Paw Paw] “Reer! Reer reer reer, reer!” You see they just start yapping at each other.

Beverly: It’s crazy.

Hardwon: Hardwon’s just super impressed by her calves.

Beverly: It’s fun that that’s-

Hardwon: They’re almost as big as mine now.

DM Murph: She’s crazy buff.

Beverly: It’s fun that that’s permanent.

Stunkbug: “Well, healthy and dumb, good combination. I drank this once, I had the best sex of my life on this. Let me tell ya. Woke up with a hangover to next week, oh, it was great.”

Hardwon: But Reggie loved it.

Stunkbug: “Reggie loved it. Me and Reggie-”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “That’s right.”

Stunkbug: “Go out in the desert and knock a couple of these back. Have a great weekend.”

Beverly: Can I whisper to Reggie?

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Yes?”

Beverly: “You know what I want, big guy.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “I can’t read your mind.”

Beverly: “Oh, okay. A Sprite then.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Sprite. Of course. Is 7Up okay?”

Beverly: [Disappointed] “7up is fine.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “We have Cherry 7up, if that helps.”

Beverly: “Oooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cherry 7up, please”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Great, I make it myself.”

Beverly: “Oh, cool!”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “I put cherries in 7up. Okay…” You see he-

Moonshine: He’s muddling cherries.

DM Murph: He pours- he pours 7up, and you see him really laboriously squeeze a cherry into it.

Hardwon: “You make everything seem harder than it is.”

Beverly: Does it have a little- does it have a tiny little sword in it?

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “I’m so sorry, we- we have a little umbrella if you’d like.”

Stunkbug: “I mean, if anything, at this place, the mocktails are better than the cocktails.”

Beverly: “That’s what I hear, yeah!”

Moonshine: Moonshine has wandered behind the bar and is eating the garnishes.

Hardwon: Our shared plates are just coming out now.

Stunkbug: “She's gonna have a good time.”

Hardwon: “Moonshine, we have fritters! Do you not want all yours?”

Stunkbug: “Tapas.”

Moonshine: I have a mouthful of cocktail straws.

Beverly: I hold up a plate of sliders and say, "Ooh, three hamburgers!"

Hardwon: “Moonshine and I- Moonshine and I agreed that I would get two, and she would have one, but I guess you can have hers.”

DM Murph: Moonshine just starts eating the plate.

Beverly: "So Mr. Bug, you said that there was a...an R. Cane dealer, or some sort of, uh...professor?"

Stunkbug: "Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Uh, my brother was- was murdered by R. Cane dealers."

Beverly: "I'm sorry to hear that."

Stunkbug: "By an R. Cane dealer named Skullis."

DM Murph: So you saw your brother killed by this R. Cane dealer. You remember seeing him snort this big line of this blue powder and unleash this crazy lightning spell that shocked your brother, and he was dead instantly. You were able to escape. You were able to-

Stunkbug: And I was just an Orc living in literal shit when this happened.

DM Murph: You were just an Orc livin’ in shit. You made your way into the bubble by volunteering for a program with Professor Duttle.

Stunkbug: Yeah.

DM Murph: And he was making a new series of Eldritch Knights that used wizardry instead of sorcery. So instead of injecting people with wild magic, what he did is he actually went into your fucking brain and changed your memories so that you studied magic. So you have all of these weird memories of you just in a weird white void, reading books.

Stunkbug: Yep.

Beverly: Love it.

Stunkbug: “And now I am an extremely smart Orc. So, I may even be the smartest Orc in the world. I'm not sure.”

Hardwon: “Congrats.”

Stunkbug: “I'm a very- not before. When I lived outside? Very stupid. Three word sentences, max. Now, I enjoy the opera. I read quite a lot. You know, the finer things.”

Beverly: “What do you read?”

Stunkbug: “I eat tapas every day.”

Hardwon: “Exquisite tastes.”

Stunkbug: “I haven't- again, I haven't eaten a large plate meal in over a year, and I'm happier for it.”

Beverly: “Have you read Dragon Anatomy?”

Stunkbug: “Uh, yes.”

Beverly: “It's great, I'm working my way through it right now. Very graphic, but a lot of- a lot of stuff I didn't know about.”

Moonshine: Moonshine-

Stunkbug: “Children's literature, but I enjoyed it.”

Moonshine: Moonshine is still behind the bar, and she has the sink going, and she's trying to put the water back into the faucet. She's so stressed out.

DM Murph: Moonshine, you suddenly kick out of it. It's like salvia. It's, like, real quick. And all the sudden, you're just washing your hands behind the bar, and you hear-

Moonshine: “I guess I'm a bar back now.”

DM Murph: -the air elemental goes, [As Reggie] “Please go around the front. This is for staff only.”

Moonshine: “Oh, so I don't work here.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “You don't work here.”

Moonshine: “Oh, okay. Phee-ew.”

Stunkbug: So is she back to normal now?

DM Murph: She's back to normal.

Stunkbug: Oh, okay.

Moonshine: And I wander back.

DM Murph: She heard nothing.

Moonshine: “Now, do you mind repeating that?”

Stunkbug: “Fun time, right? Wasn't it-”

Beverly: “We'll fill you in later.”

Hardwon: “Cool. You washed your hands?”

Stunkbug: I don't tell her my backstory.

DM Murph: Cool, Beverly has to whisper it to her.

Beverly: I do.

Moonshine: “Who ate my slider?”

Hardwon: “Um...” I raise my hand to get a new plate of sliders.

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “How are you feeling?”

Hardwon: “It's just two whiskeys, Reg.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Well, I was going to make you some special sliders, but fine. You'll just get regular hamburgers.”

Hardwon: “That's good.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Fine!”

Hardwon: “I have a feeling they were going to be regular hamburgers anyway.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “They- I have chicken. It could've been chicken sliders.”

Stunkbug: I'm eating a radicchio side salad.

Beverly: I'm nibbling on some Kara-Age fried chicken.

DM Murph: A peek behind the screen, Adam and I were talking about his character beforehand, and he said he wanted him to be Orc Frasier.

Stunkbug: Yes, that is- that is the bit.

Beverly: Wait, are you wearing, like, a turtleneck and a blazer?

Stunkbug: Yes. I was imagining, like, I'm wearing a lot of purple velvet.

Beverly: Oh, wow.

Stunkbug: And, yeah, it's a tailored-

Moonshine: Oh, my gosh.

Stunkbug: Like a tailored armor on. Yeah, it's like- it's like-

Hardwon: You can almost picture it.

Stunkbug: “A lot of people get their armor off the rack, but you gotta honestly get it tailored, or it'll never fit just right.”

Hardwon: “That's really cool.”

Beverly: “Yeah.”

Moonshine: “Ooh, I love that velvet.”

Beverly: “I respect Mr. Bug so much.”

Moonshine: “I do too.”

Hardwon: “It'd be cool if we could visit the tailor at some point. I wouldn't mind getting some really nice fucking rags.”

Stunkbug: “You have to meet Renée, he is the best.”

Beverly: “I think after we go to your professor, I would love to stop by Renée's.”

Moonshine: “I would love to stop by Renée’s.”

Hardwon: “Right, we got this evil sword that we should show the professor.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Do you guys want the check?”

Moonshine: “Spoken like a true Stunk.”

Hardwon: “Yeah, can we get the sliders to go?”

Stunkbug: Can I just say, I've just- I mean, it's not- it's apropo of nothing, but it came to me now, that Stunkbug has a ponytail.

DM Murph: Yeah, abso- oh, yeah.

Moonshine: Yeah.

Stunkbug: Can I just, say that he has like a waist length, beautifully combed ponytail.

Beverly: Holy shit, oh my god.

Moonshine: Oh man.

Stunkbug: It's really beautiful. It's like, luxurious.

Moonshine: “The hospitality in me is desperate to just give you a scalp massage, turn it into a braid.”

Beverly: “Yeah. “

Stunkbug: “Oh, can you- oh, you can braid hair?”

Moonshine: “Absolutely.”

Hardwon: “Yeah,” I point to my amazing braid.

Stunkbug: “Oh my- yeah.”

Hardwon: “Yeah, that was Moonshine.”

Moonshine: “Yeah, I spent all night on that.”

Beverly: “She's teaching me.”

Stunkbug: “So you're telling me you make delicious wine-”

Moonshine: “Yeah.”

Stunkbug: “-and you braid hair?”

Moonshine: “I wouldn't call it wine, but yeah.”

Stunkbug: “You are the perfect woman. Did you know you're the perfect woman?”

Moonshine: “You know, this is amazing, because I just- I travel with these two, and they just...you know, they complain about how I smell, or I don't shower, or-”

Beverly: “Just made recommendations that…”

Hardwon: “We just say sometimes that would be fine if you did.”

Beverly: “I offered you soap.”

Hardwon: “I try to give you positive encouragement when you do things like wash your hands.”

DM Murph: [As Reggie] “Hey, guys, the bar's pretty crowded, so…”

Hardwon: “Yeah, we're out of here.”

Beverly: “Okay, alright, okay.”

Moonshine: “Okay. Okay, okay. Okay.”

Stunkbug: “All right. Let's go. Let's go introduce you to the professor.”

Moonshine: “Okay.”

DM Murph: Cool, so you guys go to Professor Duttle's laboratory. You make your way over to Duttle's lab. You see it's this big metal, kind of steampunk-looking dome building. It's almost shaped like an igloo with the entrance jutting out at the end of a little hallway coming off the main dome. The windows are bright, with lights shooting out from the inside, occasionally changing color and pulsating with arcane energy. You see that the front door is a thick, thick metal-

Stunkbug: I knock on the door.

DM Murph: You knock, and you hear a robotic voice from the inside, go, [As Juan] "Who is it?"

Hardwon: Oh, no.

Stunkbug: I say, "Hello? It's Stunkbug."

DM Murph: [As Juan] "Oh, Stunkbug, my best friend. It's me, Juan."

Stunkbug: "How are you, Juan? Just let us in."

Beverly: [whispered] "You know a robot?"

Stunkbug: "Oh, yeah."

Beverly: "That's so cool!"

DM Murph: Juan opens the door. You see, Juan, he's this clockwork automaton who looks like a gnome. He has a glowing purple core at the center of all his gears and springs and complex machinery. And he looks at you, Stunkbug, and he goes, [As Juan] "Oh, you brought friends."

Beverly: “So wait, he's a gnome, so he's like, a little smaller than me?”

DM Murph: [As Juan] "I am not really a gnome..." And you see he looks so hurt by this. [As Juan] "My name-”

Moonshine: “Hey, Juan, Juan?”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “Yes?”

Moonshine: "You're whatever you want to be."

Beverly: "Yeah."

Moonshine: And then I play a song on the fiddle to inspire him. I take out New Betsy, and I play a really, really slow, inspirational song about how you can be whatever you want.

DM Murph: He looks at you, Stunkbug, [As Juan] "Is this music good?"

Moonshine: “Oh, now that's the saddest thing he's said so far.”

Beverly: “Oh my god.”

Stunkbug: "I mean, I do love the folk music of the common classes."

DM Murph: Why don't you roll a performance check, Moonshine.

Moonshine: Okay.

Beverly: Okay.

Moonshine: I got 7.

DM Murph: Okay, It sounds real bad, Stunkbug.

Stunkbug: Okay, alright, well, I still say that, in order to be- I'm like, "Oh, very good. It's fine, you know..."

Beverly: This is great. I'm so obsessed with this automaton because I desperately want one for my birthday, and my parents won't get me one. They say that I'm not-

Hardwon: Not 'cause they can't afford it, but because they don't respect you.

Beverly: Yes, precisely. They say I'm not responsible enough.

DM Murph: [As Juan] "It is the most beautiful song I've ever heard."

Moonshine: "Oh, Melora. Someone taught you manners."

Hardwon: “Very good manners.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] "Hi, my name is Juan, or technically number one, but I call myself Juan.

Moonshine: “Ohh, I get it. I get it.”

Beverly: “That's cute.”

Hardwon: “Good to meet you. Very clever. Do you work for a wizard?”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I work for Professor Duttle.”

Hardwon: “Okay.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “He’s my best friend.”

Hardwon: “Can you take us to Professor Duttle?”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “What is your name?”

Hardwon: “Hardwon Surefoot, you've probably heard of me. I am the bastard of the mountain, great axe of Iron Deep.”

DM Murph: You see, he hesitates for a moment, trying to, like, pick up on your facial cues. [As Juan] "Yes, I have heard of you."

Hardwon: [Disappointed] “Oh, man, that feels like when you told her the song was good.”

Moonshine: “Oh, so it was, like, entirely true.”

Hardwon: [Lying to Moonshine] “Oh, yes, yes!”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I will take you to the professor, my new best friends.”

Hardwon: “Everyone you meet is your best friend.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “That is true.”

Hardwon: “Cool.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I guess I just have a sunny outlook.”

Moonshine: “Juan, you're just kind of stressing me out a little bit.”

Beverly: Wait, wait, wait, I-

DM Murph: You see he just looks at you for a long time. [As Juan] "Am I making you sad?"

Moonshine: "No. In fact, your existence makes me so happy. I just...the sun shines a little brighter just knowin’ that you're gracin' this green earth."

DM Murph: He looks down, and then he looks up at you with cold robot eyes and says, [As Juan] "No one has ever been this nice to me."

Moonshine: “Oh, Melora, get me out of this gas pit.”

DM Murph: So Juan-

Stunkbug: “I'm a little hurt because I gave him a present on his birthday.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “It is my most cherished gift.”

Stunkbug: “Alright.”

Moonshine: “What was it?”

Hardwon: “Juan, you lost it the day you got it. We all see through your bullshit.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I would never-”

Hardwon: “You are a lying robot.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I would never lose a gift from a friend.”

Beverly: It was a gift card.

Hardwon: “What was it?”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “What was it, Stunkbug?”

Hardwon: “You- no, no, no.”

Stunkbug: “It was-”

Moonshine: “You have to say it at the same time.”

Hardwon: “Why don't- wait, hold up. We're gonna say it- you guys say it at the same time. One. Two. Three.”

DM Murph: “A locket”

Stunkbug: Well, I was gonna say, it was a CD of opera, of my favorite artists.

Hardwon: That he wore on a necklace through the hole. Oh, you're both right.

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I thought- I thought it was a necklace.”

Stunkbug: “It was a magical musical locket. It plays opera music.”

DM Murph: [As Juan] “I put it in a jewelry box.”

Hardwon: “All right, checks out. Can we please meet the professor?”

Stunkbug: “No, I want to- I want to continue this conversation.”

DM Murph: All right. So you see Juan leads you down a long, sterile hallway, then into the lab itself. You see dozens of these clockwork creatures hard at work. There are a few who look like gnomes putting together a suit of this Bubble Knight armor on a stand. You see a drone-like one flying around, surveying the lab. You see that there are a couple of spider ones carrying chemicals and beakers, like moving tables.

Moonshine: “Should we put on, like, face masks, or gloves, or...?”

Stunkbug: “Don't worry. This is all very-”

Moonshine: “Just, y'know.”

Stunkbug: “This is all very normal. I'm sorry, have you not been inside an arcane laboratory before?”

Moonshine: “Y'know-”

Hardwon: “We've never even been to the bubble city before.”

Moonshine: “Honestly, no, I haven't.”

Beverly: “I've been on one in-”

Stunkbug: “I guess I'm really feeling my privilege, then.”

Hardwon: “Honestly, that was my first slider earlier.”

DM Murph: So you guys see a door- you guys see a-

Hardwon: Hardwon loves sliders now.

DM Murph: At the end of the hall, you see a doorway, and you see red energy exploding out, and Juan says, [As Juan] "The professor is in there."

Beverly: "Thank you, Juan."

Moonshine: "Thank you, Juan."

Beverly: I give him- I put a coin in his mouth.

DM Murph: [As Juan] "Why? Why did you do- are you bullying me?"

Beverly: "I thought- I thought you might like it, and also do a dance?"

DM Murph: [As Juan] "Are you..."

Beverly: "That's what-"

Moonshine: "Young Paladin! I would never-"

DM Murph: [As Juan] "I guess I am just a robot to you after all."

Beverly: "I just, now, I-"

DM Murph: And Juan, Juan sulks off.

Beverly: "Okay?"

Stunkbug: What's your alignment, young man?

Beverly: "I'm so- I- I misread the situation."

Stunkbug: "Beverly, Juan is a friend."

Beverly: I apologize to Juan. "I'm very sorry."

Stunkbug: “He's gone.”

DM Murph: Juan's gone.

Stunkbug: “He's gonna cry. He's gonna be crying for a week.”

Moonshine: “Wow.”

Stunkbug: “He's a very sensitive soul. You know, we see the same therapist, and she's extremely expensive, and that's going to be at least three sessions to wipe that hurt away.”

Beverly: “Well, he could have used the coin I gave him!”

DM Murph: You see, finally, the arcane energy from out under the door stops, and you see the professor, this little gnome in a little white lab coat. He's bald on top with white hair on the sides.

Moonshine: Sounds cute, he's bald?

DM Murph: He's bald.

Hardwon: White hair on the sides.

DM Murph: Oh, there are superstitions about bald people at the crick?

Beverly: Oh, yeah!

Moonshine: Yeah, we love 'em, we love bald people.

Beverly: No ponytail, though?

Moonshine: Moonshine is just sittin’ on her hands, trying not to touch his head.

DM Murph: So you see he's got this weird spider clockwork on his head. And he goes, [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, yes. Stunkbug, great to see you!"

Stunkbug: "Hello, Professor."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I was just finishing an experiment."

Stunkbug: "Oh! Well, what are ya- what are you working on this week, Professor?"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Well, I'm trying to use that- that wizardry procedure that we did on you."

Stunkbug: "Ah, yeah. Thank you again!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Of course. Of course."

Stunkbug: "Made me very intelligent, whereas before, oh, I was as dumb as a bag of bricks."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "That is absolutely true. You were very stupid."

Stunkbug: "I was so stupid."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "A stupid boy. A stupid boy indeed. Well, anyway, the spider shoots arcane energy into my eyeballs, right? It goes into my brain. I try to imagine something, and then the spider lays an egg, and I try to see if I eat that egg, if it gives me a memory. Let's see." And you see the spider-

Hardwon: “Oh, dear…”

Moonshine: “This is unbelievable!”

DM Murph: The spider crawls forward, lays this red egg, and he goes, [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, yes. Now to eat the egg!"

Moonshine: "You want me to-"

Beverly: "Wait, wait, wait, wait."

Stunkbug: As he does this I say, "The professor is very good. He really- incredible mind."

Beverly: I want to do a roll to like- can we- can we do like a roll that just- insight this egg, make sure that this egg is safe to consume?

DM Murph: Sure, you can do an insight check on the egg.

Beverly: That's a 3. Looks like a good egg.

DM Murph: Cool. That is a red egg that a robot spider laid.

Moonshine: Wow, Bev.

DM Murph: So you see the professor gets down on his hands and knees, grabs the egg off the ground. He holds it up to his mouth, and he says, [As Professor Duttle] "I have never eaten a strawberry. So I imagined in my head eating a strawberry. And now I'm going to eat this and see if I can remember eating a strawberry." and he bites into it. And he goes, [As Professor Duttle] "I don't know if that worked, because I don't know what a strawberry tastes like!"

Hardwon: "I'll try it."

Moonshine: Ah, a flaw.

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I already consumed it, my friend."

Hardwon: "The whole egg- all right, kiss me."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "What?"

Stunkbug: "What?"

Hardwon: "No, no, no, I'm good."

Moonshine: "Kiss him."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "No.

Hardwon: “Of course.”

DM Murph: [as Professor Duttle] “Stunkbug, who are your friends?"

Stunkbug: "These are- well, they're some new acquaintances I met outside of the city. And they have a few items of mysterious and/or magical origin that they need identified, and I thought you might be interested."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, yes. Whip it out, whip it out."

Hardwon: "Ah, wai-, sorry, what-"

Moonshine: "Wow, wow."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Whip it out."

Beverly: "S'cuse me?"

Moonshine: "Wow, rude, rude."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Whip it out. You. You-" He points to Hardwon. "Whip it out."

Hardwon: "I was really looking forward to-

Moonshine: "Rude!"

Hardwon: "Yeah, please. Calm down"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "The magic items."

Stunkbug: "The magical items."

Hardwon: “I was very interested in your opinion until you ate the egg that you were hoping tasted like a strawberry, having never had a strawberry before. But hey, fuck it. Here. This- it's an evil sword.”

DM Murph: You hold it up. [As Professor Duttle] "Yes, that is a cursed weapon!"

Beverly: “Well, we knew that.”

Hardwon: “Any- can you elaborate?”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Do you guys want to see something really cool?"

Hardwon: "Are you gonna eat another egg?"

Moonshine: "Are you gonna-"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I am not going to eat another egg."

Stunkbug: "I do- I do want to see it."

Beverly: "Something cooler than eggs?"

Hardwon: "What's cooler? Okay, yeah."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I can't promise that it will be cooler than eggs!"

Moonshine: "Does it involve the sword? Because if you're going to do something with the sword, I'd like you to run it by us."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "It does involve the sword. Would you like me to remove the curse from the sword?"

Moonshine: "Well, I'm curious, if you remove the curse, will it then just be a normal sword? Or will it retain-"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Here is the great thing about the great Professor Duttle. And that is, I am able to break magic down to the cellular level. I can destroy the curse while maintaining the magical properties of the sword."

Hardwon: "Hey, that sounds pretty good."

Moonshine: "Okay!"

Beverly: "Have you-" I turn to Stunkbug, "Has he done this before?"

Stunkbug: "I believe-"

DM Murph: You've seen him do shit like this.

Stunkbug: "Yeah, he does incredible things every day."

Hardwon: "And you can vouch that he's not just a straight-up evil guy?"

Stunkbug: "No, he's made me a very smart Orc with magic powers, whereas before, again, I lived in literal shit."

Hardwon: "Right."

Moonshine: "Yeah."

Stunkbug: "I ate shit ‘cause I was so dumb. I ate shit ‘cause I thought it was food."

Moonshine: “Or you just had a curious palate. I mean, I'm not gonna look down on some-”

Stunkbug: “I do have a curious palate now, and maybe that's where it comes from.”

Moonshine: “Yeah.”

Beverly: “Dung is the tapas of the body.”

DM Murph: "Would you like me to look at your sword?"

Hardwon: "Just for the record, It's not- yes." Yeah, I'm gonna get- I will hand him the sword.

DM Murph: You see he puts on these comically huge gloves and grabs the sword. [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, yes. Cursed sword. Cursed sword. Follow me. Follow me." And he walks into the next room.

Moonshine: Okay, I follow.

Beverly: Is the- is the spider still on his head?

DM Murph: Yes, sure. The spider crawls back onto his head.

Stunkbug: Can I make an Arcana check on the energy and stuff that was coming out of the room to see if I know anything about it?

DM Murph: Sure.

Stunkbug: Okay. We got a- I rolled a 9.

DM Murph: Cool.

Moonshine: And then whatever is next to Arcana.

DM Murph: Whatever your Arcana skill is.

Moonshine: It'll probably be intelligence plus.

Stunkbug: Ohh. Oh, oh, I see, oh, I see. Plus 4. So...13.

Moonshine: 13.

DM Murph: Cool.

Beverly: Pretty good.

DM Murph: You know that the procedure that he did to you involved implanting wizardry into your brain, implanting these memories. What he was trying to do is make a drug for that, so that he wouldn't have to do surgery on everyone.

Stunkbug: I was trying to check if there's anything dangerous- there was energy coming out of there, if there was like, anything dangerous?

DM Murph: No.

Stunkbug: Okay.

DM Murph: Normal, normal shit.

Stunkbug: Alright, then I walk in.

DM Murph: You guys all go into the next room. You see there aren't as many clockworks in here. This appears to be Duttle’s personal workspace. It's smaller. There's a chair that looks almost like a dentist's chair with tools hovering over it. You can assume that's where he was experimenting on himself. On the other side of the room is a glass partition. You see, Professor Duttle walks up and places the cursed sword into a little pipe, into a little chute, and it goes [Murph makes whoosh noise] and gets sucked up through the pipe. And it-

Hardwon: “Guys, he stole my sword.”

Beverly: “That's my sword.”

Moonshine: “Hardwon, you got robbed.”

Stunkbug: “Let the professor work.”

DM Murph: Suddenly you see the sword, [Murph makes whoosh noise] pop up on the other side of the glass partition, you see Duttle walk over to a little machine, and he starts pressing buttons. You watch. It looks like, in slow motion, that the sword goes from having these black and white flames, that the flames suddenly slow down and stop looking like flames, but look like little black and white dots. You suddenly see the lasers come in and start shooting the white ones until there's only black ones left. The whole image speeds back up and there's only black flames. And then he turns to you guys and he says, [As Professor Duttle] "Who- who of you will be using this sword? Would you- I could also transfer the magical properties to another weapon, if you'd like."

Moonshine: "Probably me, right?"

Hardwon: "I thought it'd be Bev."

Moonshine: "I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] “Well, who uses a two-handed weapon?”

Beverly: "Uh, I do."

Hardwon: "Also, I do."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "You- You- I- You are carrying a long sword and a shield, my friend."

Beverly: "Oh, that's true. Never mind."

Hardwon: "Oh, this is my sword!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Would- I'm- uh- I don't care whose sword it is."

Hardwon: "Uh, yeah, yeah, I'll take it."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Do you want the sword, or do...would you like me to imbue these-"

Hardwon: "I do. I actually- I killed the king that it belonged to."

Moonshine: "Oh, that's true."

Stunkbug: "Can you wield a two handed sword?"

Hardwon: "I wield a two-handed greataxe now."

Moonshine: “Wait, so we're cursing an axe?”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] “Oh, no, no, no, the curse is gone. I shot the curse. We all saw that."

Moonshine: “Oh, I see, I see.”

Beverly: “Yeah, that's what happened.”

Hardwon: “It took us a while to get there.”

Stunkbug: I roll my eyes. These guys have never seen this before?

Beverly: Yeah.

Stunkbug: Like, ugh.

Hardwon: “I'm gonna give this- I really hate to part with the axe, even for a moment. But I want to give you the axe and turn that shit magic.”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] “Don't worry. It's in good hands.” You see him shove it so hard. It, like, doesn't quite fit, was clearly made for a sword. He shoves it in there.

Hardwon: “Easy, easy. That was my dad's and I don't know who he is, so...”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] “Ah, right, yes, okay! Well, it's gonna go in there. It's normally made for swords, but alright, not- not quite an elegant weapon, is it?" He shoves it in there.

Moonshine: “Oh, wow, you are just s-”

Hardwon: "It's an elegant weapon, you're an inelegant man."

Moonshine: "You are just scruffin' up that handle, huh?"

DM Murph: You see it appears-

Moonshine: "Dang, that thing looks-"

DM Murph: You see, it appears in the glass case hovering next to the sword. You see Duttle presses some buttons in the machine, [Murph makes whoosh noise] and you see the black dots transfer from the sword over to the axe. The dots speed up and become flames again, and you see the axe crackle with black flame. Then, suddenly, there's a ding, like a microwave. [as Professor Duttle] "Oh, it's finished!" And it comes back out the tube. And he hands it to you, and your axe is now a plus 1 axe, so you get plus 1 to attack rolls and to damage.

Hardwon: Wow.

DM Murph: And you also get to roll an extra D12 if you crit.

Hardwon: That's dope. That is- I gotta-

Moonshine: And you crit on 19 and 20.

Hardwon: Yeah, I got to come up with a name for this axe. Every great axe has a great name.

Moonshine: Yeah, it really does.

Beverly: Paw Paw Three.

Hardwon: Paw Paw's Claw.

Moonshine: Mishka's Revenge.

Beverly: Oh, that's pretty good.

Hardwon: Oh, that is good.

DM Murph: You see Professor Duttle looks at the computer and he goes, [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, yes, this curse. If you were to wield this, you would be driven mad and attack everyone near you."

Hardwon: "Thank god we didn't use it on the roof."

Beverly: "Sounds bad."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Yes. You would have kept attacking people until you passed out. Isn't that something?"

Hardwon: "Oh my god. You guys would have had to fucking swing at me."

Beverly: "That's-"

Stunkbug: "But the curse has been removed?"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Curse has been removed."

Stunkbug: "’Kay."

Beverly: "Totally, a hundred percent?"

Moonshine: "Professor..."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Hundred percent, yes."

Moonshine: "Professor, I've- I have a bit of an interest in this cloak. I know it's got plus 1 to AC. I'm just wondering if you know anything of the origin of it."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I deal more with the scientific properties of things. Not so much the history of them."

Moonshine: "Okay."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Did you buy it at a store, perhaps?"

Moonshine: "No, uh..."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Where did you find the cloak?"

Moonshine: "A dead body."

Stunkbug: "I have to- sorry, it is getting a little bit late. I do have a prior engagement at the underground fighting ring where I need to, uh-

Moonshine: "Um...my interest is piqued."

Stunkbug: “-go take revenge on my nemesis, Skullis, so uh...”

Beverly: "Oh!"

Moonshine: "What?"

Stunkbug: "Very nice meeting all of you."

Hardwon: “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”

Moonshine: “Hold on.”

Beverly: “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Oh, that was an insane thing you just let out there."

Moonshine: “That is...not a casual thing to say, and yet, it came out so casually."

Stunkbug: "Oh, well, you know, I just- hey, wh- why, uh...? Wh- why keep secrets? You know?"

Hardwon: "Man, you brought us to this crazy professor who just gave me a magic axe. Can we come to the fighting ring with you?"

Stunkbug: "Well, let's see, can you- are you guys good at murdering your enemies?"

Hardwon: "That's the only thing we know how to do!”

Stunkbug: "Oh, really?"

Moonshine: "I would say, a couple days ago I would have told you my best skill was cookin', and now it is murderin’ my enemies."

Stunkbug: "Let me ask you this-"

Moonshine: "Cooking a close second."

Stunkbug: "Are you good at working stealthily, without attracting a lot of attention?"

Beverly: "Absolutely not."

Moonshine: "I would gladly Pass Without Trace on all of us."

Hardwon: "We're still a-”

Beverly: "Oh, that's true, yeah, we're a little better at it now."

Hardwon: "Alright."

Beverly: "Moonshine has gotten better at it.”

Moonshine: "I'm dynamite at it."

Stunkbug: "Because I was told specifically not to cause a ruckus. It's gonna be a- it's gonna be a stealth commando operation."

Hardwon: "Stealth operation. That is my shit. I mean, each of my legs is the size of this kid right here. But I can handle this."

Stunkbug: "I haven't known you guys very long, but, uh, I mean, so far, you've been on the up and up."

Moonshine: "I'll tell you what. I have these boots that are the Boots of Elven Kind. They make me super stealthy. In addition to that, I can cast a spell on all of us to make us super stealthy. In addition to that, I love killin’ folk- that deserve it, of course. Who precisely- you're going after the guy who killed your brother?"

Stunkbug: "Yes. Skullis, the guy who- yeah, he murdered- he made my brother explode with lightning after doing drugs."

Hardwon: "Is Skullis the guy that is supplying all the drugs to the people living outside the bubble?"

Stunkbug: "I b- we believe he is, yes."

Moonshine: "Well!"

Hardwon: "Let's clear up this here city."

Moonshine: "Yeah!"

Beverly: "We can lend you a hand."

Stunkbug: "Yes."

Hardwon: "I think all the people outside the bubble need to be tasting the sliders of this town."

Moonshine: "Oh, that's true, justice is served!"

Stunkbug: "Oh, we're not going to let the rabble in, necessarily..."

Moonshine: "Justice is served, and it's comin’ in three small hamburgers."

Beverly: “Um, before we-”

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Would you- wh- if you guys are going to be going off, doing crazy things like fighting Skullis, who, who, by the way, good luck, that- this city needs to be cleaned up."

Stunkbug: "Thank you."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "And I think you're just the man to do it, Stunkbug."

Stunkbug: "Thank you!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "You know what? I have an untested potion. It should give you the benefits of a long rest without having to take a long rest."

Beverly: "Whoa!"

Moonshine: "Oh, Almighty Melora."

Hardwon: "How many do you have, you only have one?"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "No, no, no, no, no, I have one for each of you."

Beverly: "What?!"

Stunkbug: "Yes!"

Moonshine: "Oh, Melora!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "So actually, I said it was untested. I've actually tested it on myself. I will say, you will go crazy if you do it twice before you take an actual long rest. So just have one. One for each of you."

Hardwon: "Fair enough."

Stunkbug: "Okay."

DM Murph: "Or you will go crazy."

Stunkbug: "Do you have any extra memory eggs?"

Beverly: "Yeah."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Memory eggs? Well, they don't work. If you would like to see if the spider would like to poop up a memory of me eating a strawberry, you could tell me if it tastes like strawberries."

Hardwon: "I'll take one for the road."

Stunkbug: "Okay. Okay."

Beverly: "Yeah, we all want an egg."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Okay!" The spider poops out-

Moonshine: "I'll take- what are they called? The takeaways? Or what are they called? I wa-"

Beverly: "Oh, takeaways?"

Hardwon: "Doggie bags?"

Moonshine: "No, no, no, no, the...the-"

Beverly: "Oh, walk me down."

Hardwon: "Oh yeah!"

Moonshine: "I'll take a walk me down egg."

Beverly: We all take walk me downs.

DM Murph: The spider poops out four red eggs.

Beverly: Wait, before we go, I do want to-

Stunkbug: I'm just gonna take it and put in my pouch.

Beverly: I hold up my amulet to Professor Duttle, and I want to know if he has any thoughts on the crack that formed in it.

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Ah, religious nonsense. Some sort of bad omen. I don't know. What is it you clerics call it?"

Beverly: "I mean, I thought it was similar to the cursed sword, perhaps."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Mmm, seems dumb."

Beverly: "Ok, well-"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Seems like not magic."

Beverly: "Alright, you know what? You can have this egg!"

DM Murph: He takes- he takes back the strawberry egg. [As Professor Duttle] "That's fine. I'm going to eat it, and I'm also going to eat a strawberry to see if it tastes like strawberries."

Hardwon: "Good luck with that."

Stunkbug: "Why have you never- why have you never had a strawberry? I mean, they're on every menu in town."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "It just never came around."

Hardwon: "How old are you?"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "I'm 320 years old."

Hardwon: "And you've never had a straw-? You're eating spider shit and you never had a strawberry?!"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "It's not spider shit, it's a clockwork automaton."

Stunkbug: "Just have a strawberry. I mean, Professor Duttle, I can get you strawberries. My grocer gets them very fresh."

Moonshine: "Oh, my Melora."

Stunkbug: "I'd be happy to send you a fruit basket."

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Bring me back, bring me back some strawberries."

Beverly: "Okay, I'm gonna-"

Hardwon: "Alright, let's head to- let’s head to the fight right now."

Stunkbug: "I'm just telling you right now, if you- if you open up your door tomorrow, and if Juan opens it up and finds a fruit basket on your doorstep, you'll know it's from me, okay?"

DM Murph: [As Professor Duttle] "Yes. Sounds great." You see, he's already working on something else, he's just reading a book, ignoring you.

***

DM Murph: All right, guys, we're gonna call it there. That's the end of our episode.

Hardwon: Alright!

DM Murph: Thank you to our guest, Adam Conover. Guys, you can catch Adam on Adam Ruins Everything Presents: Reanimated History. That's Tuesdays at 10:30 on TruTV. And you can watch him game on twitch.tv/AdamConover.

Moonshine: Which, why wouldn't you? That sounds so fun.

DM Murph: Yeah. You're all nerds, you're listening to a DnD podcast, you guys like video games.

Hardwon: And check out my TV show Billions on Showtime. I want to be on TV too, man!

Beverly: Just watch me play Hearthstone. I don't stream it. But, like, come to my house and do it.

DM Murph: Yeah, Caldwell lives at...

Moonshine: Look through my window.

DM Murph: We just give out his address.

Hardwon: Everyone plugs their projects and Caldwell just gives out his address.

DM Murph: Yeah, Caldwell gives out his address every week, hoping that people will show up to his-

Beverly: What up, I'mma be playing Persona 5. I will have salsa.

DM Murph: Cool, guys. We'll pick up back in Ezry next week. Adam will be back, and we'll continue this little story. Follow us on Twitter. @CHMurph is me. @Caldy is Caldwell. @EAxford is Emily. @JakeHurwitz is Jake.

Moonshine: @AdamConover is-

DM Murph: @AdamConover is Adam. You can check out our subreddit, /r/NotAnotherDNDPodcast. That's D-N-D podcast.

Beverly: Yeah, If you want to tweet about the show, do it using #NADDPod, N-A-

Hardwon: Oh, wait! Before we go-

Beverly: Yeah,

Hardwon: We gotta say thank you to these people.

Beverly: Oh, right, right.

DM Murph: Yes, we have to say thank you to some people.

Beverly: Oh, yeah. Oh, I want to give a quick shout out to James T. for sending in this oppa Aladdin style Funko Pop, which is sitting on the table in front of me, and it helps...it honestly helps focus me, helps center me during sessions.

Moonshine: And we also got to give such a legit shoutout to Scott, that's as much as he gave us, who sent us a-

Hardwon: He gave us so much more.

Beverly: Yes.

Moonshine: He gave us so much more. Who needs a name when you get a handmade clay figurine of Paw Paw?

Hardwon: So legit.

DM Murph: So cute,

Hardwon: Check it out at-

Moonshine: It's so cute.

Beverly: So cute.

DM Murph: Yeah, Emily, is that on your Instagram now?

Moonshine: We put it- yeah, we put it on NADDPod art. (https://www.instagram.com/p/BgzzB5vBFBF/)

Hardwon: On Instagram.

Beverly: On Instagram, yeah.

DM Murph: Cool, guys check that out on Instagram. Tweet about the show at #NADDPod. N-A-D-D-P-O-D, baby.

Beverly: Woo!

All: [Singing] We are, we are, the youth of the nation! We are, we are...